Childfree by Choice: Research Proves You Should Ignore Your CriticsBy Christine G. Adamo
I was recently privy to a convo between two women with similar yet different childfree experiences. Both were childless-by-choice, never wanting kids of their own. While Claire had longed to foster or adopt, both of her ex-husbands balked at that option. They were bent on biological—or nothing at all—hence their ex-ness.
You doubt, chide, question, worry and ruminate over what kind of person you are. It doesn’t help that those closest to you naively aid and abet your critical self-examination. Take, for example, the two voices inside your head. One is reasonably sane: “You’re not a terrible person. You’ve never been a terrible person. You’re a good, conscientious person who cares about others.”
Books for stepmothers tend to perpetuate certain myths. The myth of the blended family and the myth of the maternal stepmother are the most glaring examples. These books’ relentlessly upbeat tone can make stepmothers feel as though our own occasional negativity and impatience regarding his kids are freakish. Other books on stepmothering are so lighthearted, so insistent that we see the humor in our situation and in our responses to it, that reading them feels suspiciously like being told that our concerns don’t matter and that we just need to lighten up. Continue reading “Lies We Tell Stepmoms: Inside the July 2017 Issue”
It plagues you. You think you’re the only one. You’ve tried to talk to friends about it, but they just looked at you as if you were an alien. You approached your partner about it and were immediately rebuffed. You live with this feeling and chide yourself for not being a better person, partner and stepmom. You wonder if you’re a good person at all because no decent person would have the thoughts and feelings you do. Continue reading “Stepmom Guilt: Inside the May 2017 Issue”
Myths about perfection aren’t exclusive to stepfamilies, but still.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a woman lament the fact that she’s trying to achieve perfection—in her role as a stepmom—and fears she’s failing miserably? I’d be swimming in a sea of Versace, taking laps around my private yacht in Louboutin footwear and throwing back $49,000-a-bottle Dom Pérignon Rose Gold as if it were water. Continue reading “The Perfect Stepmother: Inside the February 2017 Issue”
The August 2016 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!
This month you’ll receive:
→ Advice for stepmoms who don’t like being disliked
→ Help for those times when you feel invisible and left out
→ Tips to ease the stress of being a 24/7 custodial stepmom
→ A guide to forgiving others (even if it’s not deserved!)
→ Information on why stepmom stereotypes still exist
→ And much more!
Think of the word “stepmom” and it’s hard not to envision Cinderella’s evil stepmother—a woman willing to do just about anything to get rid of her step- daughter. So many examples of wicked stepmoms surround us in a social context that it’s difficult for most people (our stepkids, the ex, coworkers) to avoid falling back on them as they typecast us. Continue reading “Stepmom Stereotypes: Inside the August 2016 Issue”
As if being a stepmom wasn’t hard enough, many stepcouples face another challenge—an age gap. And, while none of us is immune to the unflattering stereotypes heaped onto stepmoms (i.e., tramp, gold digger, trophy wife and evil homewrecker), those slurs are often hurled more harshly at younger women who partner with older men.
It has been said over and over: Children, even grown ones, feel threatened, displaced, hurt and scared when dad remarries. Less often do we hear how the stepmother experiences this reality: Hurt and threatened stepchildren are also frequently angry and jealous—and they want us gone.