Stepmoms and Holiday Depression
How to Recognize It and What to Do About It
BY BRENDA SNYDER, LCSW
My sister and I have decided that we’re coming back in our next lives as husbands. Seriously, because—in a husband’s world— holidays just happen. My own husband loves Christmas. He looks forward to Christmas cookies, presents under the tree, receiving cards from friends and family members, reading the annual letter “we” send out, our annual pre-Christmas party, our Christmas Eve gathering, Christmas Day brunch for all 15 of us (including our kids, their spouses and our grandkids) and watching everyone open their gifts. Continue reading “Holiday Depression: Inside the November 2018 Issue”
Detaching and Disengaging
A Stepmom’s Guide to Letting Go
BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
Let it go. Let it be. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Chill out. Surrender. Release. Detach. Back off. These are all reminders to harried humans that it’s time for us to release our death grip over the “need” to control. To drop our ends of the rope, in the constant tug of wars. To take deep breaths, relax and take an active role in ending our own suffering. Continue reading “Stepmom’s Guide to Disengaging: Inside the September 2018 Issue”
The Codependent Stepmom: Do You Give to Others At Your Own Expense? By Mary T. Kelly, MA
You joined a ready-made family and were on a mission. You were determined to make a difference, whether fueled by good intentions, a desire to compete with his ex or a combination of both. Those kids needed some guidance and discipline, which they weren’t receiving from their own parents, and you were more than happy to pitch in.
Even if you had hesitations about jumping into a role you didn’t know much about, your partner expected you to be involved—and so did everyone else. You were a good and loving person and this was the right thing to do. Continue reading “The Codependent Stepmom: Inside the July 2018 Issue”
Is Mother’s Day Dread Setting In?
10 Ways to Celebrate—Stepmom Style
BY JESSICA LEON, PHD, LCSW
Mother’s Day can be weird for us stepmoms. In addition to our stepkids, we may have children of our own. In addition to us, those kids may have yet another mom and/or stepmom. Our partners may not know how to navigate these issues. We, ourselves, may want or need to spend time honoring people such as our mothers, grandmas, aunts, sisters, friends and mothers-in-law. Continue reading “Mother’s Day Dread: Inside the May 2018 Issue”
Strategies for Stepping Up Without Getting Your Heart Stomped on
BY BRENDA SNYDER, LCSW
The stepmom gig is changing. For many stepfamilies, gone are the days when his (or her) kids showed up as every-other-weekend visitors; when they sucked up your household’s attention, energy and resources for a few days at a time—during which everything seemed to screech to a halt, shift and evolve to suit the disruption. Continue reading “Full-Time Stepmoms: Inside the April 2018 Issue”
Child Support, Alimony and Angry Ex-Wives: Learning to Let Go of Things You Can’t Control BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
What is it in your stepfamily life that you’re in a tug of war with? What things do you have no power over or ability to control— yet resist, resent, fight, argue over and set boundaries around to make seem as if something that “just is” isn’t? Where do you engage in exercises of futility?
Here are a few givens many have a hard time accepting:
* HIS KIDS
* HIS EX
* CHILD SUPPORT Continue reading “Learning to Let Go: Inside the January 2018 Issue”
Don’t Be a Doormat! A Stepmom’s Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries BY CLAUDETTE CHENEVERT
What’s worse than feeling invisible, ignored or unappreciated?
Being treated like a doormat. You do your best, as a stepmom. You give up time and money to be available for your stepkids. You listen patiently to your husband’s complaints about his ex. You grit your teeth, while said ex makes unreasonable demands on both you and your family. Continue reading “Setting Boundaries: Inside the January 2018 Issue”
The December 2017 issue HERE!
Check out what we’re talking about this month:
→ Tips to reduce holiday stress (and drama!)
→ Advice for when you feel like an outsider
→ An interview with “Erased Family” filmmaker: Ginger Gentile
→ Ways you can help grieving kids during the holidays
→ Strategies for dealing with those jealous feelings
→ And more!
Here’s what else you’ll find inside: Continue reading “Inside the December 2017 Issue”
Happy Holidays? A Stepmom’s Guide to Finding Magic in the Mess By Kate Chapman
There was a time in my life when I believed in the magic of the winter holidays. Tinsel and candlelight. Snow falling softly outside. Loving families sharing time together, as children played happily inside. All was calm. All was bright. Joy and peace ruled the day.
Then I became a stepmom.
My first Christmas as a stepmom looked nothing like what I saw on TV. My days were filled with schedule shenanigans, kid shuttling Continue reading “Holiday Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the December 2017 Issue”
The Self-Doubting Stepmom: Feel More Confident and Less Confused By Mary T. Kelly, MA
You doubt, chide, question, worry and ruminate over what kind of person you are. It doesn’t help that those closest to you naively aid and abet your critical self-examination. Take, for example, the two voices inside your head. One is reasonably sane: “You’re not a terrible person. You’ve never been a terrible person. You’re a good, conscientious person who cares about others.”
The other one (that little devil who pokes you in the shoulder, when you least expect it) shouts: “You’re selfish! You’re not trying hard enough! You’re imagining all of this drama! Continue reading “The Self-Doubting Stepmom: Inside the November 2017 Issue”