Stepmoms in the White House

Stepmoms in the White House
What it Means for Women Like Us
By Wednesday Martin, PhD

The U.S.’s current First Lady, the wife of its President-elect and its incoming Vice President are all women who’ve partnered with men who brought along kids from previous relationships. And it’s about time!

Stepfamilies now outnumber what so-called experts used to and sometimes still call “intact” families, as if stepfamilies (statistically the new normal) are inherently broken or ruptured in comparison. We’re not. We’re just a bit or, in some cases, a lot more complicated. So what? Continue reading “Stepmoms in the White House”

The Stepmom Step-Back

stepmom step backBy Lisa Bagshaw – StepMom Magazine Sept. 2011

A lot of successful stepmoms talk about the merits of stepping back. An equal number of stepmoms express confusion over what stepping back really means—and how to do it.

The premise is to step back from the dramas of living with kids that aren’t your own, an ex who might be problematic and all the other many things stepmoms can’t control like last-minute schedule changes, discipline differences and the past. Continue reading “The Stepmom Step-Back”

Mistakes Stepmoms Make: Inside the November 2018 Issue

Mistakes Stepmoms MakeThe 5 Most Common Mistakes Stepmoms Make
(Because We’re Only Human!)

In working with stepmoms for roughly 20 years, I’ve heard it all. Most often, though, I hear some version of: “I wish I’d known a long time ago that—when I joined a ready-made family with great intentions and a loving heart—I’d make mistakes which would back fire on me in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible.” These sentiments aren’t uncommon among the thousands of stepmoms I’ve worked with. In fact, they generally indicate that: Continue reading “Mistakes Stepmoms Make: Inside the November 2018 Issue”

A Stepmom’s Guide to Marriage: Inside the November 2018 Issue

A Stepmoms GuideThe Art & Science of Love
A Stepmom’s Guide to Making Your Marriage Last: Part Two

Most people hate conflict. For some, like my husband Bernard, avoiding conflict is their way of “resolving” it. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work. In last month’s edition of StepMom, I shared with you the importance of practicing Maintenance first—making it easier to bounce back from conflict after an argument. I offered tips for getting in a Maintenance Mindset and shared a plan for logging the six hours needed weekly to maintain (Editor’s Note: see Oct. 2018 Back Issue). Continue reading “A Stepmom’s Guide to Marriage: Inside the November 2018 Issue”

Holiday Depression: Inside the November 2018 Issue

Holiday DepressionStepmoms and Holiday Depression
How to Recognize It and What to Do About It

My sister and I have decided that we’re coming back in our next lives as husbands. Seriously, because—in a husband’s world— holidays just happen. My own husband loves Christmas. He looks forward to Christmas cookies, presents under the tree, receiving cards from friends and family members, reading the annual letter “we” send out, our annual pre-Christmas party, our Christmas Eve gathering, Christmas Day brunch for all 15 of us (including our kids, their spouses and our grandkids) and watching everyone open their gifts. Continue reading “Holiday Depression: Inside the November 2018 Issue”

Teaching Stepchildren Gratitude: Inside the November 2018 Issue

teaching our stepchildrenThank You for Your Service!
Teaching Our Stepchildren Gratitude

Every stepmom is of service to her stepfamily. It shows through in the many tasks you take on, how gracefully you navigate awkward stepmom moments and your many selfless sacrifices.

Today, however, I’d like to give a special nod to a different type of service. On November 11, those of us in the U.S. celebrate Veterans Day. Canadians also celebrate their own version, Remembrance Day, on November 11. Continue reading “Teaching Stepchildren Gratitude: Inside the November 2018 Issue”

Holiday Survival Guide for Stepmoms: Inside the November 2018 Issue

Guide for StepmomsHoliday Survival Guide for Stepmoms
5 Skills and Techniques to Sustain You

The holiday season provides us with the opportunity to come together and to learn from each other. It’s a time to not highlight our differences but to be inspired by them. It’s a time to rejoice in our similarities and use any knowledge gained to create our own unique stepfamily experiences, as we evolve and grow as individuals. Continue reading “Holiday Survival Guide for Stepmoms: Inside the November 2018 Issue”

Being a Stepmom is The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done!

Being a StepmomBY MARY T. KELLY, MA

This message is for those of you who have had it. You’re exhausted, you’re hurt, you’re angry and you are so close to calling your marriage quits and don’t know where else to turn. The first thing that comes out of your mouth is, “I had no idea it would be like this.” You’ve been working at it for what seems to be a ridiculously long time and you’re over it. Done. Stick me with a fork kind of stuff. Continue reading “Being a Stepmom is The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done!”

Talking Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the October 2018 Issue

Talking Tips for StepmomsTalking Tips for Stepmoms
Navigating Your Way Through Awkward Conversations

When I became a stepmom, no one warned me about the frequency with which I’d be having awkward conversations—not only with my family and friends but with total strangers! For example, when you fill out paperwork at the doctor’s office it’s common to be asked: How many children do you have? Continue reading “Talking Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the October 2018 Issue”

Growing Up in a Stepfamily: Inside the October 2018 Issue

Growing Up StepfamilyGrowing Up in a Stepfamily
What Stepmoms Who’ve Been There Can Teach Us

There are a number of unique challenges stepmoms undeniably face. Those challenges are different for full-time stepmoms, stepmoms with young stepchildren and stepmoms with biological children. Yet, what about stepmoms who grew up with stepparents of their own? Does this change how they view the stepmom experience—as adults? Continue reading “Growing Up in a Stepfamily: Inside the October 2018 Issue”