Disengaging Stepmoms: 5 Signs It’s Time to Step Back

Stepmother Disengage

“Disengaging isn’t some nasty, hostile tit-for-tat. It isn’t, “You let your kids treat me badly, eff you, I’m not doing anything for you or your kids anymore.” Disengaging is a thoughtful, planned strategy in which a woman who is partnered with a man with kids hands parenting and caretaking responsibilities back to him in an attempt to improve herself, her partnership and her relationship with his kids.” –Wednesday Martin, PhD

Understanding How and Why to Disengage From Your Current Role by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

Many stepmothers begin the commitment phase of their relationships with an engagement ring. Women who love men with children hear the statistical improbability of successful remarriage and dismiss it, knowing in their hearts that theirs is the love that will beat the odds. They excitedly embrace their new family and put every effort into making their inner reality match what is actually happening in the home they are joining. Continue reading “Disengaging Stepmoms: 5 Signs It’s Time to Step Back”

Inside the September 2017 Issue

StepMom Magazine September 2017The September 2017 issue is HERE!

Inside this month’s edition:
→ What Stepmoms Need to Know About Childhood Attachment Theories
→ Strategies for Building Trust and Strengthening Your Marriage
→ 5 Truths About Becoming a “Successful” Stepmom
→ 6 Tips to Help You Bond Over Family Dinners
→ Back-to-School Life Hacks for Stepmoms
→ And more!

Here’s what else you’ll find inside: Continue reading “Inside the September 2017 Issue”

Stepmoms and Stepchild Relations: Inside the September 2017 Issue

Stepchild RelationsPsychology, Stepmoms and Stepchild Relations: Science Says? It’s Not Your Fault! By Brenda Snyder, LCSW

Many stepmothers share a common frustration—a thwarted desire to be close to their stepchildren. In her current experience, a stepmom might feel angry or be resentful of a horribly behaved stepchild who is perhaps disrespectful and undisciplined.

In discovering the narrative of her stepfamily, however, it becomes fairly evident that back in the beginning stages the stepmom envisioned their relationship much differently. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Stepchild Relations: Inside the September 2017 Issue”

Do You Trust Your Partner? Inside the September 2017 Issue

The Urge to SnoopStepmoms, Cell Phones & The Urge to Snoop: How to Practice and Build Trust With Your Partner By Mary T. Kelly, MA

Do you trust your partner? We’re hard-wired to trust, according to a report which appeared in the August 2015 edition of “The Journal of Neuroscience.” It’s not surprising. Intimate relationships cannot exist without trust. That’s because intimacy and trust go hand in hand. I’ll even take it a step further. If you don’t have trust, you don’t have a marriage or a true partnership. Continue reading “Do You Trust Your Partner? Inside the September 2017 Issue”

Collective Co-Parenting: Inside the September 2017 Issue

Collective Co-ParentingThe Road to Collective Co-Parenting: Waiting for Co-Parent Status Is Like Sitting Alone on the School Bus By Melissa D. Day, MS

Negotiating kids’ busy schedules can be overwhelming enough in one home. Coordinating them between multiple homes comes with additional challenges. Add in back-to- school season and things get even more complicated. As your stepfamily makes the transition to new teachers, activities and routines, co-parenting challenges may step out of the shadows and into the light.

As you know, there are likely a number of good reasons your partner and his ex are divorced. Continue reading “Collective Co-Parenting: Inside the September 2017 Issue”

Back-to-School Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the September 2017 Issue

Tips for StepmomsBack-to-School Tips for Stepmoms: Simple Life Hacks for Less Stress By Jessica Leon, PHD, LCSW

Kids and parents approach back-to-school time with mixed emotions. Certainly it’s exciting: new teachers, new supplies, new friends, new schedules and—some years—a brand new place in which to learn. But there’s something else, too: Stress.

Children fear the unknown, while parents are ever-concerned about what’s in store, what our (step-)children’s social or academic experiences will be like Continue reading “Back-to-School Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the September 2017 Issue”

National Stepfamily Day is September 16, 2017

stepfamily dayNational Stepfamily Day is just around the corner. Never heard of it? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Many are unaware that stepfamilies have their own day, but the holiday is steadily gaining recognition among those who see the event as an opportunity to recognize and honor their non-traditional family unit.

In 1997, remarried mom and stepmom Christy Borgeld helped found National Stepfamily Day—which is celebrated annually on September 16th.

At the time, she had two goals in mind:

• Establish a holiday that highlights the need for stepfamily awareness and ongoing support, and

• Give today’s families a way and a means for recognizing and celebrating the diversity of their relationship dynamics.

In its first year, Nat’l. Stepfamily Day was officially acknowledged by 24 U.S. states which rolled out proclamations in its honor. Within a year that number rose to 32 states. By 2000, nearly all 50 U.S. states (48, in total) formally recognized this special day.

In 2010, Borgeld took it a “step” further, asking then-President Barack Obama to revise the language on that year’s Presidential Mother’s and Father’s Day Proclamations, or public honors, to include all parents: biological, adopted, foster and step. So, he did!

Twenty years later “our” day is recognized in all 50 U.S. states, Canada and the U.K. How will you celebrate? Popular options include hosting a family picnic or a neighborhood block party that acknowledges family types of all kinds (step, adoptive, etc.).

Share a special family dinner, host a game night for your stepfamily friends, take your own stepfamily for a hike or go biking together. Whatever you do, celebrate the opportunity to bond and to have fun!

Save

Save

Save

Inside the August 2017 Issue

August 2017 IssueThe August 2017 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

This month we’re talking about:

Mini-Wife Syndrome: What to do if your stepdaughter has it
Emotional Abuse: Recognizing the signs and solutions
Your Stepchild: Why playing games can help you bond
The Ex: How to let go of your resentment toward her
Loyalty Binds: What to do if your stepchild complains about you
Becoming a Stepmom: What the research tells us
→ And More!
Here’s a look at what’s inside: Continue reading “Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Mini-Wife Syndrome: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Mini Wife SyndromeMini-Wife Syndrome A Guide for Stepmoms: Red Flags, Root Causes and Remedies by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

I have yet to meet a stepmother whose sense of identity has been unscathed by self-doubt and private, scary musings like: “Am I crazy?” or “Maybe I am evil!” The intensity of emotions previously not experienced by them leads to frantic searches for someone—anyone—who can validate her feelings as being reasonable and expected.

Yet, one of the most difficult insights a stepmother can have is to notice that she feels envious or even resentful of her stepdaughter’s place in her husband’s life. Continue reading “Mini-Wife Syndrome: Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Stepfamily Weddings: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Stepfamily WeddingsStepfamily Weddings: What Comes After You Walk Down the Isle? by Kristen Wilkinson, MA

Ah, wedding season! A time of love, reflection, union and dedication. Weddings take on all different shapes and sizes: destination weddings in the Caribbean, romantic European occasions, glamorous urban affairs and rustic country gatherings.

No matter how a wedding looks on its surface there is bound to be fun, laughter, music, drinks, food and—of course—love! However, for couples who are preparing to enter into a stepfamily, there are special considerations and circumstances worth exploring both before and after saying, “I do!” Continue reading “Stepfamily Weddings: Inside the August 2017 Issue”