Expert Stepfamily Advice for Any Woman Whose Partner Has Kids
By Mary T. Kelly, MA
As Tom Hanks reminded us so lovingly via his Instagram account, while he and wife Rita Wilson (who’s a stepmom, by the way) were detained at an Australian hospital after being diagnosed with coronavirus, “There is no crying in baseball.” The two have since been discharged and are self-quarantining. Continue reading “Stepmom Survival Guide: Life in the Age of Coronovirus {Part 1 of 3}”
By Mary T. Kelly, MA
Stepmom, now is the time to prepare for the long weeks ahead. Work with your partner, in the most realistic ways possible, to manage the “overwhelm” that’s likely to occur when the schedules and routines of everyone in your stepfamily home are thrown into disarray, as a result of the coronavirus pandemic. Without making this discussion solely about your stepkids, structure a daily plan everyone can live with. Continue reading “Stepmom Survival Guide: Life in the Age of Coronovirus {Part 2 of 3}”
By Mary T. Kelly, MA
Even when things seem as if they couldn’t get worse, there are still good things to look forward to. A sturdy and loving partner is one. Stepkids who pitch in with cleanup is another. A house that’s warm in winter, a sun that shines all day—the list goes on. Today, I want you to be grateful for each and every positive thing that comes your way. Continue reading “Stepmom Survival Guide: Life in the Age of Coronovirus {Part 3 of 3}”
The 5 Most Common Mistakes Stepmoms Make
(Because We’re Only Human!)
BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
In working with stepmoms for roughly 20 years, I’ve heard it all. Most often, though, I hear some version of: “I wish I’d known a long time ago that—when I joined a ready-made family with great intentions and a loving heart—I’d make mistakes which would back fire on me in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible.” These sentiments aren’t uncommon among the thousands of stepmoms I’ve worked with. In fact, they generally indicate that: Continue reading “Mistakes Stepmoms Make: Inside the November 2018 Issue”
This message is for those of you who have had it. You’re exhausted, you’re hurt, you’re angry and you are so close to calling your marriage quits and don’t know where else to turn. The first thing that comes out of your mouth is, “I had no idea it would be like this.” You’ve been working at it for what seems to be a ridiculously long time and you’re over it. Done. Stick me with a fork kind of stuff. Continue reading “Being a Stepmom is The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Done!”
Detaching and Disengaging
A Stepmom’s Guide to Letting Go
BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
Let it go. Let it be. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Chill out. Surrender. Release. Detach. Back off. These are all reminders to harried humans that it’s time for us to release our death grip over the “need” to control. To drop our ends of the rope, in the constant tug of wars. To take deep breaths, relax and take an active role in ending our own suffering. Continue reading “Stepmom’s Guide to Disengaging: Inside the September 2018 Issue”
The Lonely Stepmom: 6 Tips for When You Feel Ignored, Rejected or Alone BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
Think of your earliest memory of feeling excluded. For most, those thoughts take us back to grade school. Maybe you were on the playground watching the other kids interact, as you stood back alone. Maybe you weren’t invited to a birthday party for someone you considered a friend. Surely you didn’t escape middle school or high school without feeling like an outsider. Continue reading “Tips for Lonely Stepmoms: Inside the February 2018 Issue”
Child Support, Alimony and Angry Ex-Wives: Learning to Let Go of Things You Can’t Control BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
What is it in your stepfamily life that you’re in a tug of war with? What things do you have no power over or ability to control— yet resist, resent, fight, argue over and set boundaries around to make seem as if something that “just is” isn’t? Where do you engage in exercises of futility?
Here are a few givens many have a hard time accepting:
* HIS KIDS
* HIS EX
* CHILD SUPPORT Continue reading “Learning to Let Go: Inside the January 2018 Issue”
There’s No Place Like Home: Advice for Stepmoms Who Experience Outsider Syndrome By Mary T. Kelly, MA
It doesn’t matter how old you are: “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!” For most of us, these pleading words are as familiar as the sun rising in the East.
In “The Wizard of Oz,” Dorothy was lost and had to find her way back home. This was no easy endeavor. She went through trial after trial, faced perilous odds, came up against deception and, ultimately, found redemption. Oh, the roads she had to travel first to get there! Continue reading “Feel Like an Outsider? Inside the December 2017 Issue”
The Self-Doubting Stepmom: Feel More Confident and Less Confused By Mary T. Kelly, MA
You doubt, chide, question, worry and ruminate over what kind of person you are. It doesn’t help that those closest to you naively aid and abet your critical self-examination. Take, for example, the two voices inside your head. One is reasonably sane: “You’re not a terrible person. You’ve never been a terrible person. You’re a good, conscientious person who cares about others.”
The other one (that little devil who pokes you in the shoulder, when you least expect it) shouts: “You’re selfish! You’re not trying hard enough! You’re imagining all of this drama! Continue reading “The Self-Doubting Stepmom: Inside the November 2017 Issue”
