Set Your Stepfamily Up for Success: 8 Ways to Make Life Easier on the Woman You Love—and Your Kids! by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
You’re probably starting to gather that being a stepmom is not easy. Your job, as the man in the middle, is no picnic either. All you really want is peace: for everyone to get along and for the tension and conflict to disappear for good. Falling in love with a great woman was a good start, as she can help you make that happen.
My mom likes to spend Mother’s Day with my sister and me. We love spending it with her, too, because she gives us presents. She started this even before we became mothers ourselves. Her explanation: “If not for you guys, I wouldn’t be a mom.”
All exes are crazy, right? Any time you hear a narrative about “his ex,” “my ex,” or even “my best friend’s ex,” chances are pretty good that the person in question comes out looking a little nuts. If you’re an ex, it’s even likely that you star in someone else’s narrative, as a psychotic b*#@!. Every person tells their own story their own way. Continue reading “His Crazy Ex and You: Inside the March 2017 Issue”
When an intact family system reorganizes by death or divorce, every family member makes adjustments to the new structure. Unfortunately for the children, the adults are often so steeped in their own emotional pain that they are oblivious— through no real fault of their own—to the unhealthy accommodations their kids wind up making. While this is certainly not optimal for the adults, it can be devastating to the emotional health of their children.
I have grown to realize that the old adage “It takes one to know one!” wholly applies to us stepmoms. No matter how supportive my family and friends have been throughout the years, it is only sister stepmoms who really get it: feelings of invisibility, red-faced awkwardness at family gatherings and concealed hurt when our stepchildren treat us with hostility or apathy. Continue reading “Stepmom Problems: Inside the October 2016 Issue”
A stepmother’s relationships are complicated. And it can be difficult to maintain your identity—the very personality traits that make you who you are (a superwoman committed to the love of your life and his kids)—as you navigate the rocky terrain of joining a family that formed well before you came on the scene. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Forgiveness: In the Aug. 2016 Issue”
Lots of stepmoms show up in my counseling office because their family doctor prescribed an antidepressant and recommended therapy. Admittedly showing signs of depression (i.e., irritability, sadness, changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, fatigue), these women readily agree with their doctors that something is not right. What both doctor and stepmom fail to consider, however, is that the symptoms of depression are stunningly similar to signs of bereavement. Continue reading “Stepmom Grief: Inside the July 2016 Issue”