Is Being a Stepmom Harder Than You Ever Imagined? The Major Challenges of Having a Partner With Kids by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
Practically every mom everywhere says, “Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever love!” I am a mom and I am completely on board with the loving-the-job part. Yet, to be honest, the stepmom in me wants to add an asterisk (*) followed by the words: Insert eye roll here. Because, as we steps know, being a stepparent is the hardest job. Period.
No, I didn’t omit the part about loving it by accident. The volume and depth of the difficulties that come with the stepmom role usually take us by surprise. Childless stepmoms, for example, often hear about “the rewards of parenting” and sometimes go so far as to believe that they, as stepmoms, will get all of the perks with none of the headaches.
Stepmoms who are already moms themselves are con dent that their experiences will carry them through. This is, unfortunately, not the case. Every day I speak with at least one stepmom who eventually realized that being a stepmom is harder than she could have ever imagined. She may not be able to articulate the exact reasons why but she definitely knows it to be so.
If that rings true for you, read on. There are valid reasons behind why we find our situations so challenging. Understanding them will help you be gentler on yourself, lower your expectations to a reasonable level and get on with the “job” of being a stepmom— without feeling a need to measure up to arcane standards set by society or anyone else. …To read the rest of this article, log in to your account and download the July 2017 issue. Don’t have an account? Click here to subscribe.