Disengaging Stepmoms: 5 Signs It’s Time to Step Back

disengaging stepmomsBy Brenda Snyder, LCSW Originally published in the July 2013 issue of StepMom Magazine.

Many stepmothers begin the commitment phase of their relationships with an engagement ring. Women who love men with children hear the statistical improbability of successful remarriage and dismiss it, knowing in their hearts that theirs is the love that will beat the odds. They excitedly embrace their new family and put every effort into making their inner reality match what is actually happening in the home they are joining. Continue reading “Disengaging Stepmoms: 5 Signs It’s Time to Step Back”

Stepfamily Resources: Inside the July 2017 Issue

Stepfamily Resources

by Mary T. Kelly, MA

It’s so much harder than you expected it to be. Hell, if you’re gonna be really honest, it’s so tough you spend inordinate amounts of time wondering if it’s even worth it. What is this “it” that’s causing you—and others like you—to feel so much consternation? It’s the experience of being, or the thought of becoming, a stepmom.

“I’ve been living a sad tale for 16 years,” a reader recently shared on the StepMom Magazine Facebook page. “I wonder now if it was worth it.”

Continue reading “Stepfamily Resources: Inside the July 2017 Issue”

Inside the May 2016 Issue of StepMom Magazine

StepMom Magazine May 2016
The May 2016 Issue

The May 2016 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

The fact that you’re reading this proves how dedicated you
are to improving yourself, your relationships and your stepfamily. That makes you special. We hope you’ll read the articles in this month’s edition and take each word to heart. Here are some of the issues we address this month: Continue reading “Inside the May 2016 Issue of StepMom Magazine”

Taming the Mommy Tiger – Inside the May 2016 Issue

Mommy Tigers
Inside the May 2016 Issue

Taming the Mommy Tiger: Why Letting Your Stepkids Call You “Mom” Fuels His Ex’s Resentment (And What You Can Do About It!) by Wednesday Martin, PhD

One of the most common questions I hear from women who marry or partner with men who have kids is, “What should they call me?”

While there’s no one right answer, I do concur with the overwhelming majority of experts and women in the trenches who know from first-hand experience that there is, in a broad sense, a wrong one (to which there are rare exceptions): Mom. Or Mommy. Or Mother. You get the idea. Continue reading “Taming the Mommy Tiger – Inside the May 2016 Issue”

Stepmom Sanity Savers – Inside the April 2016 Issue

Stepmom Sanity Savers
Inside the April 2016 Issue

Stepmom Sanity Savers: 4 Secret Moves to a More Empowered You by Iishana Artra, PhD

A hallmark of sanity is possessing good judgment when faced with real life circumstances. As renowned expert Patricia L. Papernow, PhD, says, in stepfamilies, “What works is not intuitive.” In other words, good judgment here is largely a matter of stopping ourselves from stepparenting by reflex.

Seven years, according to Papernow, is the average time it takes to get the hang of stepfamily life. If we’re lucky? Four years. For some, surviving the learning curve is like climbing a 3,000-foot cliff in the rain, in winter, without shoes on and while dodging falling rocks. One sudden move could lead to all sorts of ruin. (That’s how I felt the first time I gave it a whirl.) Continue reading “Stepmom Sanity Savers – Inside the April 2016 Issue”

Interview with Meghan King Edmonds: Stepmom and RHOC Star – Inside the March 2016 Issue

Meghan King Edmonds Stepmom
Inside the March 2016 Issue

Interview with Meghan King Edmonds: Stepmom and Real Housewives of OC Star by Brenda Ockun

Meghan King Edmonds is a fascinating woman. She’s a cast member on Bravo TV’s reality show  “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” a wife to former All-Star baseball player Jim Edmonds and a stepmother of four.

Continue reading “Interview with Meghan King Edmonds: Stepmom and RHOC Star – Inside the March 2016 Issue”

Interview with Jamie Tompkins – Inside the January 2016 Issue

Interview with Jamie Tompkins
Inside the January 2016 Issue

Jamie Tompkins – TV Journalist—and Stepmom! The Seattle-Based TV Anchor on Stepmoms, Stereotypes and Media Shortfalls Interview by Brenda Ockun, Founder and Publisher of StepMom Magazine

To say Jamie Tompkins is confident is an understatement. Over the last 10 years, this Q13 Fox News broadcast journalist has taken every opportunity to share her stepmom experience with audiences from coast to coast—on live TV no less.

It clearly takes a lot to rattle an anchor who’s no stranger to A-listers, grills politicians like nobody’s business, steps into jailhouses to interview convicted felons and chases down tornadoes in the name of journalism … without the slightest hint of a stray hair! Yet, she says, nothing prepared her for life’s toughest assignment: being a stepmom. Continue reading “Interview with Jamie Tompkins – Inside the January 2016 Issue”

Inside the December 2015 Issue of StepMom Magazine

Stepmom Magazine December 2015
The December 2015 Issue

The December 2015 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

It’s known as the most wonderful time of the year. But, for many stepmoms, the holidays create unique stress and family tension.

Most families must make decisions about where to celebrate, when and with whom—but stepfamilies face extra challenges. Every year stepmoms ask: When are the kids coming over? Are the kids coming over? How do we manage everyone’s traditions?

The articles in this month’s issue are designed to take you back to simpler times and help you remember that as a stepmom you must focus on what you can control and to let go of what you can’t. You might just find that letting go doesn’t nullify your past—it helps you enjoy the present.

Here’s what’s inside when you subscribe: Continue reading “Inside the December 2015 Issue of StepMom Magazine”

Feeling Like an Outsider – Inside the December 2015 Issue

Feeling Like an Outsider
Inside the December 2015 Issue

Stepmoms Home Alone: Avoid Feeling Like an Outsider This Holiday Season by Mary T. Kelly, MA

Do you remember the movie “Home Alone,” in which the harried parents of several children leave one of them behind while rushing out to catch a plane for a Christmas holiday trip?

The 8-year-old kid who’s left behind, Kevin (memorably portrayed by Macaulay Culkin), is stunned to find out he’s home alone. But he ends up being quite resourceful, avoiding unwanted intruders who were initially after the family goods and then shifted their focus to doing him harm just to get even with him.

You may be able to relate to that forgotten kid. You anticipate the holidays with dread, Continue reading “Feeling Like an Outsider – Inside the December 2015 Issue”

Stepmom Myths – Inside the December 2015 Issue

Stepmom Myths
Inside the December 2015 Issue

The Truth About Being a Stepmom: Replace Those Old Stepmom Myths With New Mantras by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

Almost everything you hear early on in stepmother life serves no purpose except to make you feel bad about yourself. People are full of advice about how you should feel, how you can make yourself into a better or more supportive parent and how you shouldn’t expect anything from the kids—especially at first. (At first? You’ve been with this family for five years!)

Even well-meaning friends give laughable advice—fit for a traditional family, perhaps, but certainly not for a stepmom. Most people simply miss the point. Women in love with men who have children are a special breed. Continue reading “Stepmom Myths – Inside the December 2015 Issue”