“I’m Jealous of My Stepdaughter!” 5 Ways to Make Peace With Your Feelings By Brenda Snyder, LCSW
Stepmoms have it rough. You would be hard-pressed to come up with even one fictional, famous or literary stepmom character who’s portrayed in a positive light. Yet, when the title is preceded by “evil” or “wicked,” dozens quickly come to mind.
It’s no wonder that, with such a reputation to live down, it’s really hard for stepmoms to open up and admit to the less admirable feelings which commonly infiltrate their experience.
You know deep down that you don’t always love the little stepdarlings, but it can still be hard to admit that sometimes … well, you might even hate them a little. Or resent them.
When my coaching clients begin peeling back the layers of negative emotion in their lives, those stepmoms often discover an unexpected source of pain: jealousy. Commonly experienced in couple relationships—when one partner feels threatened by a romantic rival—jealousy is a complex emotion that stems from a perception that a valued relationship is threatened by a third party.
Given the complex nature of stepfamilies, the relationship between your partner and his sons or daughters can itself sometimes feel like a threat. Seeing as holidays are often emotionally-charged for stepfamilies, this is as good a time as any to address the topic. So, aim to make peace with the green-eyed monster before it tramples all over your otherwise happy holiday season.
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