Second Sunday of May: A Stepmom’s Guide to Mother’s Day by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
My mom likes to spend Mother’s Day with my sister and me. We love spending it with her, too, because she gives us presents. She started this even before we became mothers ourselves. Her explanation: “If not for you guys, I wouldn’t be a mom.”
My first few Mother’s Days as a stepmother were pretty torturous.
Back then I didn’t have a child of my own, my stepkids lived with us full-time and my husband—and pretty much everybody in our community—treated me as if I was the kids’ mom. I didn’t know that you could love kids more than I loved my four and figured I pretty much earned the Mom title by doing the Mom job. I mostly ignored the pushback I got.
Though, my own mom carefully suggested that the actual giving birth and raising of a being from infancy created a stronger bond than the one I had with my stepchildren. And the kids certainly didn’t want another mother. They wished they saw their own more often, but that didn’t translate into them regarding me as a substitute.
Mother’s Day was a day my stepkids’ mom made sure they spent with her.
Now that my stepkids are adults, my tremendously clear 20/20 hindsight vision enables me to provide a few tips on how to prepare yourself for the mother of all holidays.