The 5 Most Common Mistakes Stepmoms Make
(Because We’re Only Human!)
BY MARY T. KELLY, MA
In working with stepmoms for roughly 20 years, I’ve heard it all. Most often, though, I hear some version of: “I wish I’d known a long time ago that—when I joined a ready-made family with great intentions and a loving heart—I’d make mistakes which would back fire on me in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible.” These sentiments aren’t uncommon among the thousands of stepmoms I’ve worked with. In fact, they generally indicate that:
* You think you should act like a Mom.
* You feel guilty for not loving the kids.
* You judge your partner’s parenting.
* You obsess over your partner’s ex.
* You lose yourself, in the process.
I’m quite sure you’ve made either some, if not all, of these mistakes plus others. Yet, please don’t be hard on yourself. You’re human! Mistakes are normal steps to becoming wiser, more compassionate and more self-loving. Mistakes are necessary for growth and are how we learn.
We’re about to address the five mistakes stepmoms most commonly make. You may have made them in the past or be making them currently. The goal is to make corrections that will relieve you of any unnecessary suffering and correct any faulty thoughts you have about yourself and what you can reasonably expect your role to be within your stepfamily. …To read the rest of this article, log in and download the November 2018 issue. Don’t have an account? Click here to subscribe.