Tag: loyalty conflicts

Parentified Stepchildren: Inside the November 2016 Issue

Parentified StepchildrenThe Parentified Child: When Stepkids Are Forced to Grow Up Too Fast
by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

When an intact family system reorganizes by death or divorce, every family member makes adjustments to the new structure. Unfortunately for the children, the adults are often so steeped in their own emotional pain that they are oblivious— through no real fault of their own—to the unhealthy accommodations their kids wind up making. While this is certainly not optimal for the adults, it can be devastating to the emotional health of their children.

It can be quite common, in one-parent families, for a child to hear that he or she is now the man or woman of the house. Continue reading “Parentified Stepchildren: Inside the November 2016 Issue”

Inside the May 2016 Issue of StepMom Magazine

StepMom Magazine May 2016
The May 2016 Issue

The May 2016 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

The fact that you’re reading this proves how dedicated you
are to improving yourself, your relationships and your stepfamily. That makes you special. We hope you’ll read the articles in this month’s edition and take each word to heart. Here are some of the issues we address this month: Continue reading “Inside the May 2016 Issue of StepMom Magazine”

Stepmoms and Mother’s Day – Inside the May 2016 Issue

Stepmoms and Mother's Day
Inside the May 2016 Issue

Stepmoms and Mother’s Day: 7 Reasons Stepkids Snub Us on the Mother of All Holidays by Trisha Ladogna, GDP

One of the most difficult aspects of Mother’s Day, for a stepmother, can be trying to understand why our stepchildren (particularly those we have good relationships with) don’t recognize us on Mother’s Day.

Being ignored by your stepchildren on Mother’s Day—well, it just sucks, especially if you Continue reading “Stepmoms and Mother’s Day – Inside the May 2016 Issue”

Taming the Mommy Tiger – Inside the May 2016 Issue

Mommy Tigers
Inside the May 2016 Issue

Taming the Mommy Tiger: Why Letting Your Stepkids Call You “Mom” Fuels His Ex’s Resentment (And What You Can Do About It!) by Wednesday Martin, PhD

One of the most common questions I hear from women who marry or partner with men who have kids is, “What should they call me?”

While there’s no one right answer, I do concur with the overwhelming majority of experts and women in the trenches who know from first-hand experience that there is, in a broad sense, a wrong one (to which there are rare exceptions): Mom. Or Mommy. Or Mother. You get the idea. Continue reading “Taming the Mommy Tiger – Inside the May 2016 Issue”

Mom vs. Stepmom – Inside the November 2015 Issue

Mom vs Stepmom
Inside the November 2015 Issue

Mom VS. Stepmom: Free Yourself From
Competition With the Ex by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

If there’s a relationship more fraught with emotion than that of the stepmother and the ex-wife, I have yet to hear about it—and I’ve made a 20-year career of counseling people about their relationships.

It’s really unusual, even if you’re not sitting in a therapist’s office, to talk to someone for any length of time about life as a stepmother and not end up discussing the ex and her role in your life. Consider the time and energy you put into describing her latest manipulations, inconsiderate actions or poor parenting decisions. Continue reading “Mom vs. Stepmom – Inside the November 2015 Issue”

Inside the October 2015 Issue of StepMom Magazine

StepMom Magazine October 2015
The October 2015 Issue

The October 2015 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

The statistics on stepfamily failure rates are enough to frighten the pants off of anybody!

In this month’s edition, we face some of the most common fears experienced by stepmoms full on: feeling like an outsider, dealing with the ex and acknowledging that life, as a stepfamily, may not feel anything at all like you’d hoped it would.

In the end, we hope you realize this: Whatever stepmom problem scares you the most, the fact that you’re willing to feel the fear means you can overcome it. Because you? Are strong, brave and courageous. And we’re here to help you every step of the way.

Here’s what’s inside the October issue: Continue reading “Inside the October 2015 Issue of StepMom Magazine”

Stepmoms and Loyalty Conflicts – Inside the October 2015 Issue

Stepmom Loyalty Conflicts
Inside the October 2015 Issue

Stepmoms and Loyalty Conflicts: How and Why We Engage in No-Win Competitions by Brenda Snyder, LCSW 

One of the most frustrating things about stepmotherhood is the positive regard our stepchildren have for their biological mothers. No matter what. A cognitive understanding of why they love their mothers simply isn’t enough to help us heal the wounds—real or imagined—which we endure in the name of parent-child loyalty. Too often, our response to our stepchildren’s need to protect and defend the love they have for their mothers takes the shape of redoubling our efforts to “win.” But what are we competing for?

The term loyalty signifies devotion and attachment, which is usually aimed at the people we love. It also refers to where we choose to put our allegiance. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Loyalty Conflicts – Inside the October 2015 Issue”