When an intact family system reorganizes by death or divorce, every family member makes adjustments to the new structure. Unfortunately for the children, the adults are often so steeped in their own emotional pain that they are oblivious— through no real fault of their own—to the unhealthy accommodations their kids wind up making. While this is certainly not optimal for the adults, it can be devastating to the emotional health of their children.
The fact that you’re reading this proves how dedicated you
are to improving yourself, your relationships and your stepfamily. That makes you special. We hope you’ll read the articles in this month’s edition and take each word to heart. Here are some of the issues we address this month: Continue reading “Inside the May 2016 Issue of StepMom Magazine”
One of the most difficult aspects of Mother’s Day, for a stepmother, can be trying to understand why our stepchildren (particularly those we have good relationships with) don’t recognize us on Mother’s Day.
Taming the Mommy Tiger: Why Letting Your Stepkids Call You “Mom” Fuels His Ex’s Resentment (And What You Can Do About It!) by Wednesday Martin, PhD
One of the most common questions I hear from women who marry or partner with men who have kids is, “What should they call me?”
While there’s no one right answer, I do concur with the overwhelming majority of experts and women in the trenches who know from first-hand experience that there is, in a broad sense, a wrong one (to which there are rare exceptions): Mom. Or Mommy. Or Mother. You get the idea. Continue reading “Taming the Mommy Tiger – Inside the May 2016 Issue”
If there’s a relationship more fraught with emotion than that of the stepmother and the ex-wife, I have yet to hear about it—and I’ve made a 20-year career of counseling people about their relationships.
The October 2015 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!
The statistics on stepfamily failure rates are enough to frighten the pants off of anybody!
In this month’s edition, we face some of the most common fears experienced by stepmoms full on: feeling like an outsider, dealing with the ex and acknowledging that life, as a stepfamily, may not feel anything at all like you’d hoped it would.
In the end, we hope you realize this: Whatever stepmom problem scares you the most, the fact that you’re willing to feel the fear means you can overcome it. Because you? Are strong, brave and courageous. And we’re here to help you every step of the way.
One of the most frustrating things about stepmotherhood is the positive regard our stepchildren have for their biological mothers. No matter what. A cognitive understanding of why they love their mothers simply isn’t enough to help us heal the wounds—real or imagined—which we endure in the name of parent-child loyalty. Too often, our response to our stepchildren’s need to protect and defend the love they have for their mothers takes the shape of redoubling our efforts to “win.” But what are we competing for?