Expert Stepfamily Advice for Any Woman Whose Partner Has Kids
Stepmoms and Mother’s Day: 7 Reasons Stepkids Snub Us on the Mother of All Holidays by Trisha Ladogna, GDP
One of the most difficult aspects of Mother’s Day, for a stepmother, can be trying to understand why our stepchildren (particularly those we have good relationships with) don’t recognize us on Mother’s Day.
Being ignored by your stepchildren on Mother’s Day—well, it just sucks, especially if you Continue reading “Stepmoms and Mother’s Day – Inside the May 2016 Issue”
Taming the Mommy Tiger: Why Letting Your Stepkids Call You “Mom” Fuels His Ex’s Resentment (And What You Can Do About It!) by Wednesday Martin, PhD
One of the most common questions I hear from women who marry or partner with men who have kids is, “What should they call me?”
While there’s no one right answer, I do concur with the overwhelming majority of experts and women in the trenches who know from first-hand experience that there is, in a broad sense, a wrong one (to which there are rare exceptions): Mom. Or Mommy. Or Mother. You get the idea. Continue reading “Taming the Mommy Tiger – Inside the May 2016 Issue”
Stepmoms and Stepdaughters Connecting: Use Conversation to Bridge the Gap Between You by Claudette Chenevert
We read stories about the challenges between stepmoms and their stepdaugthers on social media, in private forums, in magazines and in books. Why is that? And we’re not just talking about their teenage years, although those often are the most challenging. I’m also talking about our ability—or inability—to have meaningful conversations with our adult stepdaughters.
There are times when, no matter how much you try, it feels as if you and she are speaking two different languages. Continue reading “Stepmom Stepdaughter Communication – Inside the May 2016 Issue”
Stepmoms and Ex-Wives: 5 Relationship Paradigms: Which Do You Choose? by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
Few relationships a stepmom navigates are as tricky as the one she has with her partner’s ex. There are many obvious reasons for this complexity. (Perhaps, most notably, you’ve both seen the same man naked.) You may wonder what constitutes normal when it comes to your relationship with your stepchildren’s mother, as this particular pairing usually feels anything but. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Ex-Wives – Inside the May 2016 Issue”
The High-Conflict Ex: 5 Tips for Managing Your Partner’s Past by Trisha Ladogna
Dealing with a high-conflict ex can be one of the hardest things a stepcouple faces. It can be difficult to know what to do or where to get the right support. The tension and conflict it stirs up can cause us to act against our natural instincts when it comes to arriving at trusting, open, empathetic responses and managing difficulty.
If not handled well, it can cause us to become edgy and feel defensive—or entirely helpless. These negative feelings and responses can then spill over into our relationships with our partners, children and stepchildren to create chaos in our most important relationships. Continue reading “The High-Conflict Ex – Inside the April 2016 Issue”
Stepmom Sanity Savers: 4 Secret Moves to a More Empowered You by Iishana Artra, PhD
A hallmark of sanity is possessing good judgment when faced with real life circumstances. As renowned expert Patricia L. Papernow, PhD, says, in stepfamilies, “What works is not intuitive.” In other words, good judgment here is largely a matter of stopping ourselves from stepparenting by reflex.
Seven years, according to Papernow, is the average time it takes to get the hang of stepfamily life. If we’re lucky? Four years. For some, surviving the learning curve is like climbing a 3,000-foot cliff in the rain, in winter, without shoes on and while dodging falling rocks. One sudden move could lead to all sorts of ruin. (That’s how I felt the first time I gave it a whirl.) Continue reading “Stepmom Sanity Savers – Inside the April 2016 Issue”
New Stepfamily Insights: Our Special Interview With Patricia L. Papernow, PhD by Claudette Chenevert
There are several questions stepmoms have asked me over the years. They include:
◃ “Why won’t my stepkids listen to me?”
◃ “Will I ever feel included in this family?”
◃ “What can I do differently to create a happy family?”
It seems that, as stepmoms, we have this dream of coming together and being one, big, happy family. I recently had the privilege of talking with Patricia L. Papernow, PhD, about her latest book “Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t.” Continue reading “Stepfamily Insights With Patricia L. Papernow, PhD – Inside the April 2016 Issue”
The Truth About Stepfamily Life: The Path to Peace Begins With Acceptance by Brenda Snyder LCSW
My job, as a writer and a stepmom coach, allows me to wear a few different hats. Most of the time I get to be an upbeat, cheerleadery type who encourages and assures clients that, “This is really hard, but you can do it!”
When we get down to work, I put on my coaching hat to help stepmoms and couples develop a new game plan. (Ya gotta have a strong defense!) The hat I find hardest to wear, however, is probably the most effective. It’s the one I wear when I challenge stepmoms to face unpleasant truths and then give them unpopular advice. Continue reading “Stepfamily Life – Inside the April 2016 Issue”
Parenting Tips for Stepmoms: My Kids + Your Kids = Parenting Together by Christina Roach, LMHC, NCC, DCC
The 1970s TV sitcom “The Brady Bunch” presented a skewed view of stepfamily life. Despite the fact that Mike and Carol Brady each brought three children into their marriage, they never seemed to argue about how they parented each other’s kids.
Whether they were interacting with their biological children or their partner’s, everyone simply seemed to get along. And any antics that did surface were nicely resolved by the end of each episode. Continue reading “Parenting Tips for Stepmoms – Inside the April 2016 Issue”
Expecting Stepmoms: What You Need to Know About Babies and “Blending” by Wednesday Martin, PhD
The woman’s tone was urgent, almost anxious. She had called into a radio show I was doing to promote my book, “Stepmonster,” and I wished I had longer to talk to her about having what the experts call “a mutual child.” For the women I interviewed while writing my book, the issue of whether to have one (or more) kids together or not was often a deal-breaker.
“I decided I wasn’t going to marry Jack and take on his two girls—cute and lovable as they are— without us having a child together, too,” a woman I’ll call Laura told me, explaining, “What can I say, it just felt like having a baby of our own would sort of even things out.” Continue reading “Expecting Stepmoms – Inside the April 2016 Issue”