Dealing with a high-conflict ex can be one of the hardest things a stepcouple faces. It can be difficult to know what to do or where to get the right support. The tension and conflict it stirs up can cause us to act against our natural instincts when it comes to arriving at trusting, open, empathetic responses and managing difficulty.
With St. Patrick’s Day around the corner, I started thinking about all of the lucky stepmoms I know—the ones whose days aren’t filled with bickering with their partners about parenting or schedules. The ones who have positive interactions with their stepkids and actually look forward to spending time with them. The ones who spend time with their partners’ exes and whose partners spend time with their exes without forming knots in their stomachs. The ones who seem to have found the four-leaf clover of stepfamilies. Continue reading “Successful Stepmom Tips – Inside the March 2016 Issue”
A Stepchild’s Perspective on Forging Relationships – Understanding What Works and What Doesn’t by Trisha Ladogna
In February 2015, Todd M. Jensen, MSW, LCSWA, and Matthew O. Howard, PhD, MSW (both representing University of North Carolina’s School of Social Work), completed a systemic review of stepchildren’s views about what makes for a positive stepparent-stepchild relationship.
They said it wasn’t an easy task, as the majority of stepfamily literature over the past decade had focused on only adults’ opinions of stepfamily life. Jensen and Howard, along with the rest of us I’m sure, found this “odd and unfortunate because stepfamilies, by definition, wouldn’t exist without the presence of children.” Continue reading “Your Stepchild’s Perspective – Inside the January 2016 Issue”
It’s that time of year—Thanksgiving— when we gather for a family holiday that compels those in the U.S. to count their blessings and give thanks—in addition, of course, to watching football, cooking and eating.
The U.S. Supreme Court ruling that the Constitution gives same-sex couples the right to marry and Caitlyn Jenner’s public transition are both tremendous milestones which pave the way toward legitimizing and accepting same-sex and transgender stepfamilies.
There is a lot to celebrate, not only for those who identify as members of related communities but also for those who gave birth to, grew up with, befriended or love someone who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.
Stepparenting Together? How Stepmoms’ and Stepdads’ Experiences Differby Trisha Ladogna
Have you ever wondered if stepdads have it easier?
Becoming a stepmother after spending time as a single parent means parenting like you have never experienced it before. You have the unique experience of beginning your stepparenting journey at the very same time, in the very same place, as your partner.
Sitting in the Center: An Ours Child’s Perspective on Stepfamily Lifeby Trisha Ladogna
Our decision to have an ours baby was not made lightly. I was 36, a childless stepmother for more than five years and had suffered a miscarriage prior to having my first biological child.
Like many first-time mothers, I did an amazing amount of preparation and reading about what was happening with my body and my baby. Like many stepmothers, I did just as much reading and preparation around the impact this little bundle of joy would have on our stepfamily—particularly my stepson.
The post-divorce, co-parenting relationship is unique. Unlike most business or personal relationships, it is one that a person can’t simply dismiss or walk away from. It’s not optional, and how well or poorly it functions has a significant impact on everyone involved—children, parents and stepparents.
When one or even two new stepparents enter the mix, what was once a co-parenting relationship might quickly become a co-parenting entourage. The addition of new people brings with it additional viewpoints and opinions which then require additional discussion or negotiation and may increase the opportunity for misunderstandings. Continue reading “Co-Parenting Tips for Stepmoms – Inside the July 2015 Issue”