Tag: stepfamily dynamics

Stepmoms and Stepchild Relations: Inside the September 2017 Issue

Stepchild RelationsPsychology, Stepmoms and Stepchild Relations: Science Says? It’s Not Your Fault! By Brenda Snyder, LCSW

Many stepmothers share a common frustration—a thwarted desire to be close to their stepchildren. In her current experience, a stepmom might feel angry or be resentful of a horribly behaved stepchild who is perhaps disrespectful and undisciplined.

In discovering the narrative of her stepfamily, however, it becomes fairly evident that back in the beginning stages the stepmom envisioned their relationship much differently. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Stepchild Relations: Inside the September 2017 Issue”

Collective Co-Parenting: Inside the September 2017 Issue

Collective Co-ParentingThe Road to Collective Co-Parenting: Waiting for Co-Parent Status Is Like Sitting Alone on the School Bus By Melissa D. Day, MS

Negotiating kids’ busy schedules can be overwhelming enough in one home. Coordinating them between multiple homes comes with additional challenges. Add in back-to- school season and things get even more complicated. As your stepfamily makes the transition to new teachers, activities and routines, co-parenting challenges may step out of the shadows and into the light.

As you know, there are likely a number of good reasons your partner and his ex are divorced. Continue reading “Collective Co-Parenting: Inside the September 2017 Issue”

National Stepfamily Day is September 16

stepfamily dayNational Stepfamily Day is just around the corner. Never heard of it? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Many are unaware that stepfamilies have their own day, but the holiday is steadily gaining recognition among those who see the event as an opportunity to recognize and honor their non-traditional family unit.

In 1997, remarried mom and stepmom Christy Borgeld helped found National Stepfamily Day—which is celebrated annually on September 16th.

At the time, she had two goals in mind:

• Establish a holiday that highlights the need for stepfamily awareness and ongoing support.

• Give today’s families a way and a means for recognizing and celebrating the diversity of their relationship dynamics.

In its first year, National Stepfamily Day was officially acknowledged by 24 U.S. states which rolled out proclamations in its honor. Within a year that number rose to 32 states. By 2000, nearly all 50 U.S. states (48, in total) formally recognized this special day.

In 2010, Borgeld took it a “step” further, asking then-President Barack Obama to revise the language on that year’s Presidential Mother’s and Father’s Day Proclamations, or public honors, to include all parents: biological, adopted, foster and step. So, he did!

Twenty years later “our” day is recognized in all 50 U.S. states, Canada and the U.K. How will you celebrate? Popular options include hosting a family picnic or a neighborhood block party that acknowledges family types of all kinds (step, adoptive, etc.).

Share a special family dinner, host a game night for your stepfamily friends, take your own stepfamily for a hike or go biking together. And don’t worry if your family doesn’t quite feel like “family.” Stepfamilies are unique. Relationships take time. Love isn’t something that can be forced, so strive for kindness and respect and know that that’s enough. Whatever you do, celebrate the opportunity to bond and to have fun!

Family isn’t always blood.
It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs;
the ones who accept you for who you are.
The ones who would do anything to see you smile
and who love you no matter what.
-Unknown

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Stepchild Relationships: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Stepmom Stepchild RelationshipsGame On! How Plan Can Improve Stepmom / Stepchild Relationships by Stacie Nielsen Bortel, MA

His look was so determined.

“Stacie, you’re not invited to my birthday party,” my stepson said. “Just mommy is.”

I hid the pain but it wasn’t entirely surprising. He also didn’t want me to look at him, ask him questions or do things as simple as bring him a napkin when he had a bloody nose. In other words, my 5-year-old stepson was having a hard time attaching to me. Continue reading “Stepchild Relationships: Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Lies We Tell Stepmoms: Inside the July 2017 Issue

Lies we tell stepmoms4 Big Lies We Tell Stepmoms: How Ignoring Bad Advice Can Save Your Marriage—and Your Sanity! by Wednesday Martin, PhD

Excerpted with permission from “Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do.”

Books for stepmothers tend to perpetuate certain myths. The myth of the blended family and the myth of the maternal stepmother are the most glaring examples. These books’ relentlessly upbeat tone can make stepmothers feel as though our own occasional negativity and impatience regarding his kids are freakish. Other books on stepmothering are so lighthearted, so insistent that we see the humor in our situation and in our responses to it, that reading them feels suspiciously like being told that our concerns don’t matter and that we just need to lighten up. Continue reading “Lies We Tell Stepmoms: Inside the July 2017 Issue”

Being a Stepmom: Inside the July 2017 Issue

Being a StepmomIs Being a Stepmom Harder Than You Ever Imagined? The Major Challenges of Having a Partner With Kids by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

Practically every mom everywhere says, “Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever love!” I am a mom and I am completely on board with the loving-the-job part. Yet, to be honest, the stepmom in me wants to add an asterisk (*) followed by the words: Insert eye roll here. Because, as we steps know, being a stepparent is the hardest job. Period. Continue reading “Being a Stepmom: Inside the July 2017 Issue”

Inside the June 2017 Issue

StepMom Magazine June 2017The June 2017 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

In honor of the men we love, this month’s Father’s Day Special Edition is designed specifically to cater to Dad’s needs.

Written “For the Men!” in our lives, it helps you and your partner team up to tackle a variety of topics divorced dads, repartnered dads and stepdads struggle with most often.

Stepmoms worldwide tell us they look forward to this annual edition because it’s a great conversation starter—an issue you can both read (and enjoy) together! Here’s a look at what’s inside: Continue reading “Inside the June 2017 Issue”

Stepparenting Is a Team Sport: Inside the June 2017 Issue

Smart StepparentingStepparenting Is a Team Sport: 4 “Smart” Ways to Set Your Partner Up for the Win by Ron L. Deal, LMFT, and Laura Petherbridge

Dear Dad: She can’t do it without you.

You’ve married an incredible woman. She makes you smile, supports your work, laughs at your jokes and has agreed to help you raise your children. How awesome is that?!

However, her ability to fulfill the role of stepmom is dependent upon you doing yours. Continue reading “Stepparenting Is a Team Sport: Inside the June 2017 Issue”

Stepfamily Success: Inside the June 2017 Issue

Stepfamily SuccessSet Your Stepfamily Up for Success: 8 Ways to Make Life Easier on the Woman You Love—and Your Kids! by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

You’re probably starting to gather that being a stepmom is not easy. Your job, as the man in the middle, is no picnic either. All you really want is peace: for everyone to get along and for the tension and conflict to disappear for good. Falling in love with a great woman was a good start, as she can help you make that happen.

In theory, the woman you adore and the children who light up your world ought to get along. Life should sail smoothly along. This is sometimes easier said than done. Continue reading “Stepfamily Success: Inside the June 2017 Issue”

Stepfamily Expectations: Inside the June 2017 Issue

Stepfamily ExpectationsRewrite Your Stepfamily’s Story: Expectations vs. Acceptance by Andy Hetchler

My wife, Heather, is an avid reader. She can read something once, yet she’ll remember every detail and every character for years. I, on the other hand, vaguely remember reading “Great Expectations” while I was still in high school. I loosely recall the author as Charles Dickens and one of its main characters, Pip.

That’s about it. Still, while I can’t recall many details of the book, I think of the title often. For me it encapsulates a theme I took into my remarriage with kids. Heather and I exchanged vows more than 10 years ago, combining ourselves and our six kids into one stepfamily. Continue reading “Stepfamily Expectations: Inside the June 2017 Issue”