In the course of researching my book, “Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do,” I was reminded time and again that there are a handful of emotions that are just too taboo for those of us married to men with kids to admit having.
Often an interview with one of my subjects would have to go on for 30 or 45 minutes before the woman speaking with me felt she could express feelings she feared I might judge her for having. More than once, I had to pave the way to disclosure by going first: “There were days I was so angry at my husband and his daughter for shutting me out that I wanted to leave.” Continue reading “Stepmom Resentment – Inside the January 2016 Issue”
A Stepchild’s Perspective on Forging Relationships – Understanding What Works and What Doesn’t by Trisha Ladogna
In February 2015, Todd M. Jensen, MSW, LCSWA, and Matthew O. Howard, PhD, MSW (both representing University of North Carolina’s School of Social Work), completed a systemic review of stepchildren’s views about what makes for a positive stepparent-stepchild relationship.
They said it wasn’t an easy task, as the majority of stepfamily literature over the past decade had focused on only adults’ opinions of stepfamily life. Jensen and Howard, along with the rest of us I’m sure, found this “odd and unfortunate because stepfamilies, by definition, wouldn’t exist without the presence of children.” Continue reading “Your Stepchild’s Perspective – Inside the January 2016 Issue”
Holidays and family go together. Except when they don’t. There are many reasons stepfamilies aren’t together for the holidays. Sometimes, it’s a legal decree. Other times, one parent changes plans at the last minute or won’t allow the kids to come over. Kids may even choose (or be forced to choose) not to come to your home for the holidays at all.
Whenever I think of family dinners, the image of Norman Rockwell’s “Freedom From Want” (which appeared on a 1943 cover of “The Saturday Evening Post” and depicts an animated gathering around a perfectly cooked turkey) I wonder, how can my family look like that?
The September 2015 issue of StepMom Magazine is here!
Becoming a stepmom is like taking a crash course in subjects women never dream of studying: “How to Deal With an Angry Ex” and “Child Support 101” aren’t offered, as requirements or electives, in high school or university course catalogues. And yet? Millions of women find themselves tested every single day.
It’s like a taking a pop quiz you never studied for. Your patience is tested. Your ability to withstand character attacks is tested. Your stamina, your self-confidence, your relationship with your partner … they’re all repeatedly tested, too.
It is a well-known fact that people are living longer and that the aging and elderly population is a growing one. This affects many aspects of society, including the growing number of stepfamilies that form later in life and are, thus, comprised of older adults with adult stepchildren.
The August 2015 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!
This month’s issue features an exclusive interview with former “Real Housewives of New York City” cast member: Aviva Drescher!
Aviva is a celebrity and a stepmom (like you!) who understands what it’s like to have your every move broadcast under the glare of a spotlight, while people you don’t even know make assumptions about you.
Find out what you have in common with this celebrity stepmom in our telling interview—which begins on Page 14.
Preparing for the arrival of a new baby can be an exciting time for any couple. Whether you are motivated by wanting a biological child of your own or a desire to share the parenthood experience with your partner, the decision to add an “ours” baby to the stepfamily dynamic is an important one.
For some stepmoms, conceiving a child can serve as a way to authenticate the couple’s relationship, especially in the eyes of those people who they feel question its validity. On a subconscious level, it also can be a way to show others that this relationship (the stepcouple relationship) is real. It isn’t a mere substitution for their partner’s former union. Continue reading “Preparing Stepkids for an Ours Baby – In the July 2015 Issue”
Teenagers are not only a challenge for stepmothers.
It seems as though they were invented so that any adult who raises them will want to turn their bedrooms into sewing rooms instead of shrines when they finally leave the nest. After all, if sending kids off to college was as hard as sending them off to preschool, we might never let them leave home for good.
Biological parents bemoan the unpredictable and sometimes monstrous behavior that overtakes their previously darling offspring. Eye rolls, sarcasm and slammed doors seem to be part of the expected family paradigm when teens are present. Sometimes, even worse behaviors Continue reading “Teenage Stepkids – Inside the July 2015 Issue”