Expert Stepfamily Advice for Any Woman Whose Partner Has Kids
Custodial Stepmoms: Ease the Stress of 24/7 Stepparenting by Mary T. Kelly, MA
Overheard at my local coffee shop: “I’m telling you, Amanda, this parenting stuff is for the birds. My kids are so ungrateful. I do and do for them and they just seem to expect it. I need a very long vacation.”
Amanda’s retort: “Tell me about it!” Continue reading “Custodial Stepmoms: Inside the August 2016 Issue”
Stepmoms, Stepkids and Summertime: How to Keep Your Cool When Things Heat Up by Mary T. Kelly, MA
Mark Twain once famously said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” If you’ve ever been to the Bay Area, you’ll know exactly what he meant. As a stepmom, you may also find a correlation.
It’s the heat of summer now, yet you may be nursing a cold, cold heart. Continue reading “Summer Visitation: Inside the July 2016 Issue”
FOR THE MEN!
Peacemaking Divorced Dads: How Avoiding Conflict Can Start a War by Mary T. Kelly, MA
There are common phrases you, as a man, may use when you want to avoid conflict. Doing so, you often wind up kidding yourself and your partner by thinking that it isn’t because you’re avoiding conflict. It’s because you’re a peace-loving guy!
A peacemaker. Yet—after working with thousands of men who are repartnered fathers—my experience shows that, Continue reading “Peacemaking Divorced Dads: Inside the June 2016 Issue”
Taking the Stepfamily Plunge: Add Value to Stepfamily Life by Being Vulnerable by Mary T. Kelly, MA
You met a great guy—the kind of guy you’d been waiting for. He had so many of the qualities you wanted that you couldn’t believe your good fortune in finding him. Sure, he had kids. But he was worth the extra effort. You had no idea (nor could you possibly have imagined) that partnering with this wonderful guy would take you down a road of vulnerability like no other.
And, at some point, you were not only sharing your life with your new partner. You also started sharing it with his children. Continue reading “Stepfamily Life – Inside the March 2016 Issue”
Stepfamily Growing Pains – Tips on Handling Teens Who Don’t (or Won’t!) Come Around Anymore by Mary T. Kelly, MA
Have you and your partner heard these words from a defiant teenager who no longer wants to go back and forth between two homes and only wants to live with his mom? “I don’t want to live here anymore!” If so, the two of you are not alone.
Let’s be honest here. If you have stepkids who are difficult teenagers, for you this may be a blessing in disguise. But for your partner—their father—it’s devastating. It’s tough enough for your partner to only have custody of his kids part-time. Finding out he has a kid who has no desire to live with him is like a punch in the gut. Continue reading “Teenage Stepchildren – Inside the January 2016 Issue”
Stepmoms Home Alone: Avoid Feeling Like an Outsider This Holiday Season by Mary T. Kelly, MA
Do you remember the movie “Home Alone,” in which the harried parents of several children leave one of them behind while rushing out to catch a plane for a Christmas holiday trip?
The 8-year-old kid who’s left behind, Kevin (memorably portrayed by Macaulay Culkin), is stunned to find out he’s home alone. But he ends up being quite resourceful, avoiding unwanted intruders who were initially after the family goods and then shifted their focus to doing him harm just to get even with him.
You may be able to relate to that forgotten kid. You anticipate the holidays with dread, Continue reading “Feeling Like an Outsider – Inside the December 2015 Issue”
A Stepmom’s Fatal Attraction: Yes, You Can Stop Obsessing Over His Ex by Mary T. Kelly, MA
YOU CAN’T HELP IT. YOU THINK ABOUT HIS EX-WIFE ALL THE TIME. If this sounds like you, your internal dialogue likely includes thoughts that revolve around:
⊲ How crazy she is
⊲ How mean she is to you
⊲ How she ruins your lives
⊲ How she hounds your partner
⊲ How she makes up lies about you
⊲ How she turns the kids against you
⊲ How you can’t get a shred of relief
Do any of these thoughts replay themselves over and over in your brain? Continue reading “Stop Thinking About His Ex-Wife – Inside the October 2015 Issue”
Getting Your Partner to Listen – Stepmom Strategies: Stop Harping and Be Heard by Mary T. Kelly, MA
⊲ “We need to talk.”
⊲ “You need to tell your kid to clean his room.”
⊲ “I need you to set your ex straight on our boundaries.”
⊲ “You need to start disciplining your kids or I’ll do it for you.”
Do you recognize yourself in any of those statements? In truth, that list could go on and on. I’ll bet you’ve started multiple conversations with your partner by saying, “You need to …,” I want you to …,” or some variation of that. Continue reading “Stepmom Strategies – Get Him to Listen – In the Sept. 2015 Issue”
By Mary T. Kelly, MA Originally published in the November 2012 issue.
For stepmoms who may be feeling like they’ve somehow failed because their relationship with the ex is anything but friendly, here are some thoughts on why it’s really OK—and why you’re not a failure—if you’ll never be BFFs with your stepchildren’s mother. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Moms – You Don’t Need to Be Friends!”