For stepmoms who may be feeling like they’ve somehow failed because their relationship with the ex is anything but friendly, here are some thoughts on why it’s really OK—and why you’re not a failure—if you’ll never be BFFs with your stepchildren’s mother.
Stepfamily dynamics are complicated.
Up to 72 percent of remarriages with kids end in divorce, according to the Virginia Longitudinal Study of Divorce and Remarriage conducted by pioneer stepfamily researcher E. Mavis Hetherington. The multi-tiered complexities of stepfamily life make it challenging for couples to survive, much less entertain, a relationship with their partner’s ex. However, it is more than a worthwhile goal to achieve at least a modicum of Basic Etiquette 101—being cordial and polite—when one is interacting with their partner’s ex. Continue reading
Look at what’s inside:
* A stepmom’s guide to detaching & disengaging
* 5 Ways to be a positive influence for your stepkids
* Learn how to keep his ex from coming between you
* Tips for setting (and enforcing!) healthy boundaries
* Why traditional gender roles don’t work in stepfamilies
* Legal tips: What you need to know about posting online
* Guidelines for navigating the discomfort of stepfamily life
* Why it’s OK to feel angry (and what to do about it!)
* And much more!
Are you a woman who dates, lives with, or is married to someone who has kids? Then you’re no stranger to tricky situations!
(You know the kind we’re talking about: dealing with your partner’s ex, feeling like an outsider, stressing over child support, juggling visitation schedules, navigating the legal system–to name just a few!)
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State Farm ad targets remarried couples: “Sometimes at last doesn’t happen at first.”
Remarriage is on the rise and State Farm knows it. The insurance conglomerate released a commercial last month featuring a mom of one and a dad of two exchanging vows as their children cautiously look on.
If statistics are any indication, the ad will resonate with a large percentate of the U.S. population. According to recent surveys, the Pew Research Center reports: “Four in ten new marriages include at least one partner who has been married before and the number of adults who have ever remarried now stands at 42 million–a threefold increase since 1960.” Continue reading
Look at what’s inside:
* What His Kids Really Want to Tell You (But Won’t!)
* Parental Alienation – A Lawyer’s Perspective
* What to Expect When Your Stepkids are Expecting
* Get Your Stepchildren to Listen – With Just ONE Word!
* No Kids Allowed! Tips to Reclaim Your Bedroom
* How to Create A Stepfamily Mission Statement
* Forgiveness – The Benefits of Letting Go of a Grudge
* Take The 2015 Stepmom Challenge
* And much more!
Posted in Monthly Issues
Tagged blended families, January 2015 issue, Parental Alienation, parenting, Step Parenting, stepfamily advice, stepkids, stepmom, stepmom advice, Stepmom Self Care, stepmother
Brenda Ockun and her husband, Gregg.
A Message from Brenda:
I receive letters from readers all year long but, the messages I receive this time of year are always a little extra special to me. I think it’s because I understand how challenging the holiday season can be for stepmoms.
Earlier this month I received a letter from a stepmom who shared her thoughts with me. She said: “Since I moved in with my partner and his kids I’ve felt unhinged. But reading the magazine makes me feel like someone has crawled inside my head. It is the best gift I could have given myself this year.”
Her note made me think. Continue reading
The holiday season is upon us! It’s “the most wonderful time of the year!” But sometimes, for stepmoms, the very times that are supposed to make us the happiest can have the opposite effect.
As a childless stepmother, I couldn’t wait to share my mother’s awesome Christmas Eve tradition of having Santa Claus visit from the North Pole. He always brought a gift for every child as well as every adult. I imagined my stepchildren sitting on Santa’s lap and enjoying the arrogance I experienced as a kid about shopping mall Santas because the real one came to our house every year and had endless time for conversation, eggnog and Christmas carols. No quick sit and “say cheese” for us. Santa knew me personally,
The reality of coordinating our holiday celebrations according to visitation schedules and divorce court documents burst yet another bubble in my vision of stepfamily life because that first holiday season we would be together wasn’t our year to have them. And my stepkids preferred going to their own grandparents’ house to my mom’s anyway. Ouch! Continue reading
‘Tis the season for holiday drama…
When you’re a stepmom, holidays can be tough, but we can help!
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* Feel confident in your role as a stepmom
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