Stepfamily break-up rates are significantly higher than first marriage divorce rates. Learn the three things all stepcouples can do to stack the odds in their favor.
Stepmoms: Leave a comment below and tell us: What do you and your partner do to strengthen your relationship and overcome the challenges inherent to stepfamily life?
How NOT To Become A Stepfamily Statistic | Video Transcript:
Hi there! I’m Brenda Ockun with StepMom Magazine and you’re watching StepMom-TV
…because even when it’s good, it’s complicated!
When I met my husband I knew he had kids and I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But, when I heard the statistics about stepfamilies like us? It was a wake up call.
According to the US Census Bureau, 40 percent of all first marriages, 60 percent of all second marriages and 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce. These numbers tell us is that it is not easier the second time around and the third time? It isn’t a charm!
The bad news is statistics don’t lie. The good news is you don’t have to be a statistic.
So, here are 3 quick tips to help you and your partner stack the odds in your favor:
1. Make your relationship a priority.
A lot of couples insist that the kids need to come first and while it is true that kids need a lot of love and attention, a stepfamily can’t succeed without a strong, connected couple steering the ship.
So, this means you must pay attention to each other. You must make time to be alone without the kids. And you must not feel guilty about it! Remember, one of the best things you can do for the kids is to show them what a happy, loving couple looks like so that they’ll be able to model the same behaviors when they’re older.
2. Keep your expectations REAL.
One of the biggest myths about stepfamily life is that every family will blend. The truth is, your stepfamily might not blend. Ever. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t all live together – happily.
The reality is that stepfamilies don’t feel like first families. They are inherently different. And this causes a lot of people to freak out. What you should expect is that everyone in your stepfamily is cordial, kind and respectful of one another. These three things will give any family a solid foundation they can build on.
3. Take time to learn about stepfamily dynamics, together!
When it comes to stepfamilies, one of my favorite sayings is that you can’t dodge the ball you never saw coming. And one of the biggest mistakes that couples make is thinking that love will be enough.
It won’t be enough. Trust me! To really succeed as a stepcouple, you both need to understand what’s normal, what’s not, what’s possible and what is probable. Couples who learn together have a better chance of stay together. Like anything in marriage, it’s up to both people.
Now, I’d like to hear what you think. Join the conversation by leaving a comment under this video. If you liked this video, please click the share button. And if you’d like even more tips and information be sure to subscribe to our monthly online magazine.
Thanks so much for watching and I’ll see you next time, here, on StepMom-TV!
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