Tag: stepfamily issues

Create a United Front: Inside the January 2017 Issue

Create a United FrontI’ve Got Your Back! Stepcouples Must Present A United Front—Here’s Why by Trevor Mullineaux, LMFT

Who comes first in your heart— your kids or your partner? In many stepfamilies, finding the right balance between, “My kids come first,” and, “My partner is my priority,” can be a daily struggle. The conflict it creates can chip away at a stepcouple’s emotional connection. In fact, this tension is one of the reasons many stepfamilies implode. Continue reading “Create a United Front: Inside the January 2017 Issue”

Stepmoms and Rear-View Mirrors: Inside the January 2017 Issue

Stepmoms and Rear-View MirrorsStepmoms and Rear-View Mirrors: 4 Rules for Leaving Anger and Negativity Behind You by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

Being a stepmother is the hardest job I’ve ever had. I have been challenged emotionally, intellectually and physically. I have been forced to define and redefine myself as a woman, a family member and a spouse. I have weathered rejection, apathy, hostility and betrayal. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Rear-View Mirrors: Inside the January 2017 Issue”

Teen Stepkids and Money: Inside the January 2017 Issue

Teen Stepkids and MoneyFinancing Your Stepkids’ Teen Years: Protect Yourself—and Your Savings—From the Teenage Money Pit by Mary T. Kelly, MA

Teens have been known, throughout the ages, to be reckless and careless with their possessions, their lives and those of other people. Some 2,300 years ago, Aristotle wisely said: “The young are heated by Nature, as drunken men by wine.” He should have added that their antics could end up costing a hell of a lot of money. Continue reading “Teen Stepkids and Money: Inside the January 2017 Issue”

Parenting Advice: Inside the December 2016 Issue

Parenting AdviceDad’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days: Ways to Help Your Partner Parent Better by Mary T. Kelly, MA

“When I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and, by mistake, I dropped my sweater in the sink—while the water was running …. I think I’ll move to Australia.”

—excerpt from “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day,” by Judith Viorst

The opening excerpt is from a wildly popular children’s book that kids can relate to because, in truth, kids have bad days of their own. And, though your partner may not admit this, he has definitely experienced a slew of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, too—as a dad—and he doesn’t feel very good about it. Continue reading “Parenting Advice: Inside the December 2016 Issue”

Stepfamily Holiday Blues: Inside the December 2016 Issue

Stepfamily HolidayStepfamily Holiday Blues: Learning to Celebrate a Season for Two by Claudette Chenevert

IT’S CHRISTMAS MORNING. You wake up all excited but soon realize that this year is different. This Christmas will not be spent opening presents with your stepkids or even your own kids.

This Christmas it’s going to be just you and your spouse. A lump forms in your throat, as you think about it. You know it’s just another day, right? So what if you don’t have a houseful of squealing kids shouting “YES! I got my new phone!” or “Thanks for this gift. I really like it!”

Last year—for the first time, as we’re now parents of adult children—Bernard and I experienced Christmas without any of our kids. Continue reading “Stepfamily Holiday Blues: Inside the December 2016 Issue”

Parentified Stepchildren: Inside the November 2016 Issue

Parentified StepchildrenThe Parentified Child: When Stepkids Are Forced to Grow Up Too Fast
by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

When an intact family system reorganizes by death or divorce, every family member makes adjustments to the new structure. Unfortunately for the children, the adults are often so steeped in their own emotional pain that they are oblivious— through no real fault of their own—to the unhealthy accommodations their kids wind up making. While this is certainly not optimal for the adults, it can be devastating to the emotional health of their children.

It can be quite common, in one-parent families, for a child to hear that he or she is now the man or woman of the house. Continue reading “Parentified Stepchildren: Inside the November 2016 Issue”

Stepfamily Holidays: Inside the November 2016 Issue

Stepfamily HolidaysWhose Holiday Is It, Anyway? Make Your Stepfamily Holidays Merry and Bright by Claudette Chenevert and Christine G. Adamo

Have your plans ever been foiled by an ex wanting to take a spur-of-the-moment holiday trip sans kids? A wacky plan to which your partner said, “Yeah, we’ll take ’em!”— thus extinguishing your sugar plum visions of dinner and dancing with the sweetie on New Year’s Eve? (We have.)

Maybe your at-home stepfamily Christmas celebration was derailed by a text Continue reading “Stepfamily Holidays: Inside the November 2016 Issue”

Stepfamily Secrets: Inside the October 2016 Issue

Stepfamily SecretsIs Your Stepfamily Lying to You? The Secrets Stepkids, Partners and Exes Keep by Claudette Chenevert

Many stepmoms get frustrated when their stepkids lie about one thing or another. The lies can be major, in an attempt to gloss over breaking curfew, doing drugs, drinking alcohol or stealing. They also can be a series of small lies related to homework, chores or anything else imaginable.

One of the reasons stepmoms seek my help is to deal with such situations. They’re simply not sure of how to handle lying—whether it’s their stepkids fibbing, their partners routinely omitting key information or the exes in their lives embellishing on reality until it’s unrecognizable. Continue reading “Stepfamily Secrets: Inside the October 2016 Issue”

Stepmom Advice: Inside the October 2016 Issue

Stepmom AdviceHit Rock Bottom, Stepmom? Pick Yourself Up and Move Your Family Forward in 4 Steps by Amy Bellows, PhD

I grew up in a stepfamily and had played the role of stepmom once before. Going into my remarriage, I was confident I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I was committed, in love and ready for the challenge. I learned an important lesson almost immediately: Every stepfamily situation and relationship is different. Continue reading “Stepmom Advice: Inside the October 2016 Issue”

Stepmom Problems: Inside the October 2016 Issue

Stepmom ProblemsThe Angry Stepmom: A Guide to Letting Go and Living Well by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

I have grown to realize that the old adage “It takes one to know one!” wholly applies to us stepmoms. No matter how supportive my family and friends have been throughout the years, it is only sister stepmoms who really get it: feelings of invisibility, red-faced awkwardness at family gatherings and concealed hurt when our stepchildren treat us with hostility or apathy. Continue reading “Stepmom Problems: Inside the October 2016 Issue”