Dealing with a high-conflict ex can be one of the hardest things a stepcouple faces. It can be difficult to know what to do or where to get the right support. The tension and conflict it stirs up can cause us to act against our natural instincts when it comes to arriving at trusting, open, empathetic responses and managing difficulty.
Stepmom resentment. As stepmoms, we sometimes sacrifice time with friends, extended family and even ourselves to cater to our partners and/or stepkids. We do this in part (and often subconsciously) in the hope that we’ll be viewed as the ideal stepmom—the one who’s there for everyone. Yet, when we’re finally exhausted and recognize we’re in need of help, little to none can be found.
In the course of researching my book, “Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do,” I was reminded time and again that there are a handful of emotions that are just too taboo for those of us married to men with kids to admit having.
Often an interview with one of my subjects would have to go on for 30 or 45 minutes before the woman speaking with me felt she could express feelings she feared I might judge her for having. More than once, I had to pave the way to disclosure by going first: “There were days I was so angry at my husband and his daughter for shutting me out that I wanted to leave.” Continue reading “Stepmom Resentment – Inside the January 2016 Issue”
We all know being a stepmom can be a tiresome business— with some days feeling more draining than others. Countless scenarios are primed to put us in positions where we can choose to either take the high road or succumb to exposing our uncensored thoughts.
Whether it’s par for the course of the role we’re in or not, many stepmoms are faced with predicaments in which they feel a need to wield restraint over their impulses. Maybe you’ve crafted Pollyanna-type responses to yourself about false allegations made by the ex, your stepchildren’s selective hearing or (what you perceive to be) your partner’s misguided parenting style. Continue reading “Tired of Being a Stepmom – Inside the September 2015 Issue”
This month offers you lots of great advice on some pretty touchy topics—and a few taboo ones! Sometimes we really do have to learn to live with things: stepchildren we don’t like, exes who interfere in our relationships and changes that are beyond our control (yet affect our daily lives).
But a stepmom’s happiness and well-being are just as important as anyone else’s are. This month, our writers help you under- stand what you can do to work through the inevitable without sacrificing either one.
The articles in this month’s issue are designed to help you go the distance in your role as a stepmom. Are you feeling burned out or unappreciated? Brenda Snyder’s article on disengaging will show you how to step back, regroup and keep going.
Is the ex a source of conflict in your home? We’ll teach you how to break the hold she has over your household—for good! Maybe life’s pretty calm right now and you simply want a few pointers on strengthening your stepfamily muscles. You’ll find that here, too.
Going the distance is infinitely easier with friends around who support and understand you. Here? You’re surrounded by them!