blended family problems Archives - Page 3 of 4

Teenage Stepchildren – Inside the January 2016 Issue

Stepfamily Growing Pains – Tips on Handling Teens Who Don’t (or Won’t!) Come Around Anymore by Mary T. Kelly, MA

Have you and your partner heard these words from a defiant teenager who no longer wants to go back and forth between two homes and only wants to live with his mom? “I don’t want to live here anymore!” If so, the two of you are not alone.

Let’s be honest here. If you have stepkids who are difficult teenagers, for you this may be a blessing in disguise. But for your partner—their father—it’s devastating. It’s tough enough for your partner to only have custody of his kids part-time. Finding out he has a kid who has no desire to live with him is like a punch in the gut. Continue reading “Teenage Stepchildren – Inside the January 2016 Issue”

Stepmoms and Infertility – Inside the January 2016 Issue

Stepmom Infertility — Inside the January 2016 Issue

Infertility – The Secret Pain Many Stepmoms Suffer by Christina Roach, LMHC, NCC, DCC

Being a stepmom has its share of ups and downs—as each of us know all too well. The experience can become devastating, though, when faced with infertility concerns.

Regardless of the degree to which children are desired, the inability to conceive dismantles the image of mother, father and child walking hand-in-hand. It has the crushing strength of a wrecking ball that rips through a building as it’s demolished, crumbling it relentlessly to the ground.

What’s left can feel like a barren wasteland. Empty. Dark. Hopeless. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Infertility – Inside the January 2016 Issue”

Your Stepchild’s Perspective – Inside the January 2016 Issue

A Stepchild’s Perspective on Forging Relationships – Understanding What Works and What Doesn’t by Trisha Ladogna

In February 2015, Todd M. Jensen, MSW, LCSWA, and Matthew O. Howard, PhD, MSW (both representing University of North Carolina’s School of Social Work), completed a systemic review of stepchildren’s views about what makes for a positive stepparent-stepchild relationship.

They said it wasn’t an easy task, as the majority of stepfamily literature over the past decade had focused on only adults’ opinions of stepfamily life. Jensen and Howard, along with the rest of us I’m sure, found this “odd and unfortunate because stepfamilies, by definition, wouldn’t exist without the presence of children.” Continue reading “Your Stepchild’s Perspective – Inside the January 2016 Issue”

Long-Distance Stepfamily Holidays – In the December 2015 Issue

Long-Distance Holidays Stepfamily Style: 5 Ways to Connect When You Can’t Be Together by Heather Hetchler, MA

Holidays and family go together. Except when they don’t. There are many reasons stepfamilies aren’t together for the holidays. Sometimes, it’s a legal decree. Other times, one parent changes plans at the last minute or won’t allow the kids to come over. Kids may even choose (or be forced to choose) not to come to your home for the holidays at all.

It can be heartbreaking to have plans changed, children withheld or not be chosen as the home where the kids celebrate. Continue reading “Long-Distance Stepfamily Holidays – In the December 2015 Issue”

Mom vs. Stepmom – Inside the November 2015 Issue

Mom VS. Stepmom: Free Yourself From
Competition With the Ex by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

If there’s a relationship more fraught with emotion than that of the stepmother and the ex-wife, I have yet to hear about it—and I’ve made a 20-year career of counseling people about their relationships.

It’s really unusual, even if you’re not sitting in a therapist’s office, to talk to someone for any length of time about life as a stepmother and not end up discussing the ex and her role in your life. Consider the time and energy you put into describing her latest manipulations, inconsiderate actions or poor parenting decisions. Continue reading “Mom vs. Stepmom – Inside the November 2015 Issue”

Stop Thinking About His Ex-Wife – Inside the October 2015 Issue

Ex-wife StepMom Magazine — Inside the October 2015 Issue

A Stepmom’s Fatal Attraction: Yes, You Can Stop Obsessing Over His Ex by Mary T. Kelly, MA

YOU CAN’T HELP IT. YOU THINK ABOUT HIS EX-WIFE ALL THE TIME. If this sounds like you, your internal dialogue likely includes thoughts that revolve around:

⊲ How crazy she is
⊲ How mean she is to you
⊲ How she ruins your lives
⊲ How she hounds your partner
⊲ How she makes up lies about you
⊲ How she turns the kids against you
⊲ How you can’t get a shred of relief

Do any of these thoughts replay themselves over and over in your brain? Continue reading “Stop Thinking About His Ex-Wife – Inside the October 2015 Issue”

Stepmoms and Outsider Syndrome – In the October 2015 Issue

Stepmoms Outsider Syndrome — Inside the October 2015 Issue

Stepmoms and Outsider Syndrome: 7 Ways to Ease the Pain of Feeling Left Out by Claudette Chenevert

Your partner is sitting on the floor, playing with his kids. It’s been a few weeks since they were last together and they seem to be having a good time catching up. Here you are, looking at them, when an empty feeling creeps up inside you.

You try as hard as you can, hoping you’re making all the right moves. You sacrifice your time and space to make sure your partner’s kids feel at home, as if they belong. All the while, you are battling your own demons about what your place is in this relationship. Continue reading “Stepmoms and Outsider Syndrome – In the October 2015 Issue”

Same-Sex Stepfamilies – Inside the October 2015 Issue

Same Sex Stepfamilies: To Be, Or Not to Be, in the Closet? by Trisha Ladogna

The U.S. Supreme Court ruling that the Constitution gives same-sex couples the right to marry and Caitlyn Jenner’s public transition are both tremendous milestones which pave the way toward legitimizing and accepting same-sex and transgender stepfamilies.

There is a lot to celebrate, not only for those who identify as members of related communities but also for those who gave birth to, grew up with, befriended or love someone who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

These massive steps forward, however, have not eliminated the challenges faced by lesbian stepfamilies. Continue reading “Same-Sex Stepfamilies – Inside the October 2015 Issue”

Stepmom Strategies – Get Him to Listen – In the Sept. 2015 Issue

Getting Your Partner to Listen – Stepmom Strategies: Stop Harping and Be Heard by Mary T. Kelly, MA

⊲ “We need to talk.”

⊲ “You need to tell your kid to clean his room.”

⊲ “I need you to set your ex straight on our boundaries.”

⊲ “You need to start disciplining your kids or I’ll do it for you.”

Do you recognize yourself in any of those statements? In truth, that list could go on and on. I’ll bet you’ve started multiple conversations with your partner by saying, “You need to …,” I want you to …,” or some variation of that. Continue reading “Stepmom Strategies – Get Him to Listen – In the Sept. 2015 Issue”

Confessions of a Full-Time Stepmom – In the August 2015 Issue

Confessions of a Full-Time Stepmom: 4 Truths About This 24/7 Gig by Heather Hetchler, MA

I glanced at the clock. The reflected time stopped me cold. My heart began to race. My stomach started turning. My breath grew shallow. They were all automatic responses to what was estimated to occur in less than three hours: my stepdaughters’ return from two weeks at their grandparents’ home.

Feeling terrible about my physical reaction, I texted two friends and asked them to pray for me.

As a full-time stepmom of two and a co-parenting mom of four, there are only two weeks each year in which my stepdaughters are not with us. I look forward to these two weeks. Continue reading “Confessions of a Full-Time Stepmom – In the August 2015 Issue”

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