StepMom Magazine

The Secrets Stepmoms Keep

For many women, being a stepmother is like having a dirty, little secret. Why don’t people talk about it? Brenda Ockun of StepMom Magazine explains why in this video:

Mother’s Day Advice for Stepmoms

Mother's Day Advice for Stepmoms

For many stepmoms, Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days of the year. Without much acknowledgement or  recognition for the contributions you provide all year long, the holiday can leave you feeling sad and unappreciated.

Internally, most stepmoms understand that we’re not our stepkids’ biological parent and yet we still want to be recognized—like biological parents are.

Don’t pretend your feelings aren’t there or that you don’t care but remember one of the surest ways to make any occasion happier is by spending time and energy doing something special for yourself.

If the mother of all holidays is hard for you, try to keep things in perspective. Being recognized is nice. But if you’re not? Here’s a little Mother’s Day advice to help you cope:

* Remember that what you feel in your heart and how you conduct yourself as a woman who plays an important role in the life of a child, is far more important than what society (or Hallmark) may, or may not, recognize. What you do matters.

* To childless or child-free stepmoms: Do not let your self-worth or your identity be defined by, or dependent upon, your maternal status. This weekend and always, you are enough.

* If you’re feeling alone or lonely: Use the day to reach out and recognize a woman in your life who has made a difference. Mother-figures, mentors and role models are blessings in any woman’s life. If you have one, tell her. We promise that doing so will make you feel better.

* Remember that even if no one else tells you or acknowledges you this weekend, you are an incredible woman. To accept a job that offers little security, few accolades and no promise of unconditional love – while also managing the inherent complexities of stepfamily life – proves that you are strong, brave and AMAZING. Revel in the quiet knowledge that you do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do.

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