StepMom Magazine

Back-to-School Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the September 2017 Issue

Tips for StepmomsBack-to-School Tips for Stepmoms: Simple Life Hacks for Less Stress By Jessica Leon, PHD, LCSW

Kids and parents approach back-to-school time with mixed emotions. Certainly it’s exciting: new teachers, new supplies, new friends, new schedules and—some years—a brand new place in which to learn. But there’s something else, too: Stress.

Children fear the unknown, while parents are ever-concerned about what’s in store, what our (step-)children’s social or academic experiences will be like Continue reading “Back-to-School Tips for Stepmoms: Inside the September 2017 Issue”

National Stepfamily Day is September 16

stepfamily dayNational Stepfamily Day is just around the corner. Never heard of it? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Many are unaware that stepfamilies have their own day, but the holiday is steadily gaining recognition among those who see the event as an opportunity to recognize and honor their non-traditional family unit.

In 1997, remarried mom and stepmom Christy Borgeld helped found National Stepfamily Day—which is celebrated annually on September 16th.

At the time, she had two goals in mind:

• Establish a holiday that highlights the need for stepfamily awareness and ongoing support.

• Give today’s families a way and a means for recognizing and celebrating the diversity of their relationship dynamics.

In its first year, National Stepfamily Day was officially acknowledged by 24 U.S. states which rolled out proclamations in its honor. Within a year that number rose to 32 states. By 2000, nearly all 50 U.S. states (48, in total) formally recognized this special day.

In 2010, Borgeld took it a “step” further, asking then-President Barack Obama to revise the language on that year’s Presidential Mother’s and Father’s Day Proclamations, or public honors, to include all parents: biological, adopted, foster and step. So, he did!

Twenty years later “our” day is recognized in all 50 U.S. states, Canada and the U.K. How will you celebrate? Popular options include hosting a family picnic or a neighborhood block party that acknowledges family types of all kinds (step, adoptive, etc.).

Share a special family dinner, host a game night for your stepfamily friends, take your own stepfamily for a hike or go biking together. And don’t worry if your family doesn’t quite feel like “family.” Stepfamilies are unique. Relationships take time. Love isn’t something that can be forced, so strive for kindness and respect and know that that’s enough. Whatever you do, celebrate the opportunity to bond and to have fun!

Family isn’t always blood.
It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs;
the ones who accept you for who you are.
The ones who would do anything to see you smile
and who love you no matter what.
-Unknown

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Inside the August 2017 Issue

August 2017 IssueThe August 2017 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

This month we’re talking about:

Mini-Wife Syndrome: What to do if your stepdaughter has it
Emotional Abuse: Recognizing the signs and solutions
Your Stepchild: Why playing games can help you bond
The Ex: How to let go of your resentment toward her
Loyalty Binds: What to do if your stepchild complains about you
Becoming a Stepmom: What the research tells us
→ And More!
Here’s a look at what’s inside: Continue reading “Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Mini-Wife Syndrome: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Mini Wife SyndromeMini-Wife Syndrome A Guide for Stepmoms: Red Flags, Root Causes and Remedies by Brenda Snyder, LCSW

I have yet to meet a stepmother whose sense of identity has been unscathed by self-doubt and private, scary musings like: “Am I crazy?” or “Maybe I am evil!” The intensity of emotions previously not experienced by them leads to frantic searches for someone—anyone—who can validate her feelings as being reasonable and expected.

Yet, one of the most difficult insights a stepmother can have is to notice that she feels envious or even resentful of her stepdaughter’s place in her husband’s life. Continue reading “Mini-Wife Syndrome: Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Stepfamily Weddings: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Stepfamily WeddingsStepfamily Weddings: What Comes After You Walk Down the Isle? by Kristen Wilkinson, MA

Ah, wedding season! A time of love, reflection, union and dedication. Weddings take on all different shapes and sizes: destination weddings in the Caribbean, romantic European occasions, glamorous urban affairs and rustic country gatherings.

No matter how a wedding looks on its surface there is bound to be fun, laughter, music, drinks, food and—of course—love! However, for couples who are preparing to enter into a stepfamily, there are special considerations and circumstances worth exploring both before and after saying, “I do!” Continue reading “Stepfamily Weddings: Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Emotional Abuse: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Emotional AbuseThe Emotionally Abusive Relationship: You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore by Mary T. Kelly, MA

There might as well be eggshells all over your floor. Or how about this? There might as well be eggs all over your floor—with you spending your days tiptoeing around them, lest you step on one and create a mess. You feel tense, unsure, out of sorts and lonely. You long for the partner you fell in love with. The partner who was loving and caring. The time you spent together was wonderful!

Then something shifted. Unexpected dark clouds began shadowing your otherwise bright and beautiful days together. Continue reading “Emotional Abuse: Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Stepchild Relationships: Inside the August 2017 Issue

Stepmom Stepchild RelationshipsGame On! How Plan Can Improve Stepmom / Stepchild Relationships by Stacie Nielsen Bortel, MA

His look was so determined.

“Stacie, you’re not invited to my birthday party,” my stepson said. “Just mommy is.”

I hid the pain but it wasn’t entirely surprising. He also didn’t want me to look at him, ask him questions or do things as simple as bring him a napkin when he had a bloody nose. In other words, my 5-year-old stepson was having a hard time attaching to me. Continue reading “Stepchild Relationships: Inside the August 2017 Issue”

Inside the July 2017 Issue

StepMom Magazine July 2017The July 2017 issue of StepMom Magazine is HERE!

This month we’re talking about:

→ The Advice All Stepmoms Should Ignore
→ Why Marrying a Man With Kids Is Harder Than It Looks
→ 8 Things Moms Want Stepmoms to Know
→ Our Top 15 Recommended Resources
→ The Benefits of Finding Your Stepmom Tribe
→ Tips for Your Stepfamily Summer Vacation
→ And more!
Here’s a look at what’s inside: Continue reading “Inside the July 2017 Issue”

Lies We Tell Stepmoms: Inside the July 2017 Issue

Lies we tell stepmoms4 Big Lies We Tell Stepmoms: How Ignoring Bad Advice Can Save Your Marriage—and Your Sanity! by Wednesday Martin, PhD

Excerpted with permission from “Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do.”

Books for stepmothers tend to perpetuate certain myths. The myth of the blended family and the myth of the maternal stepmother are the most glaring examples. These books’ relentlessly upbeat tone can make stepmothers feel as though our own occasional negativity and impatience regarding his kids are freakish. Other books on stepmothering are so lighthearted, so insistent that we see the humor in our situation and in our responses to it, that reading them feels suspiciously like being told that our concerns don’t matter and that we just need to lighten up. Continue reading “Lies We Tell Stepmoms: Inside the July 2017 Issue”

Stepfamily Resources: Inside the July 2017 Issue

Stepfamily Resources

by Mary T. Kelly, MA

It’s so much harder than you expected it to be. Hell, if you’re gonna be really honest, it’s so tough you spend inordinate amounts of time wondering if it’s even worth it. What is this “it” that’s causing you—and others like you—to feel so much consternation? It’s the experience of being, or the thought of becoming, a stepmom.

“I’ve been living a sad tale for 16 years,” a reader recently shared on the StepMom Magazine Facebook page. “I wonder now if it was worth it.”

Continue reading “Stepfamily Resources: Inside the July 2017 Issue”