Ready to Quit, Stepmom? Questions to Ask Yourself Before Throwing in the Towel BY BRENDA SNYDER, LCSW
I’m a big fan of marriage. I’m one of those old-fashioned types who believes we were designed to head through life two-by-two. I get teary-eyed over the gentleman, age 80, who still views his bride as the young beauty who was his first love. I adore weddings—the big church kind, where the bride wears a veil and her dad gives her away. I think love is awesome.
I believe commitment is tougher and the thing that will sustain you through the hard parts.
And I know there will be hard parts. I also believe in do-overs. Statistically, second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages. But, in my life, my divorced parents are each in remarriages of 30-plus years. My first marriage (a mistake from start-to-finish) lasted five years.
My remarriage turns 20 this Spring. When conscious effort is made to avoid a first marriage’s mistakes, I believe well-suited individuals can be successful their next time around. Most modern couples wonder, from time to time, if they made the right decision. They wonder under what circumstances they should consider divorce.
The question, “Would I do it again—knowing what I know now?” is not a great thing to contemplate. On bad days, your belief is probably that you wouldn’t. It’s important, then, to have some tools to discern the difference between an emotion-laden, last-ditch impulse and a logical, thought-out decision.
Do you feel like you’re ready to quit, stepmom? Before you throw in the towel, answer these 7 eye-opening questions. …To read this article, log in and download the February 2018 issue. Don’t have an account? Click here to subscribe.