Stepmoms and Stepdaughters Connecting: Use Conversation to Bridge the Gap Between You by Claudette Chenevert
We read stories about the challenges between stepmoms and their stepdaugthers on social media, in private forums, in magazines and in books. Why is that? And we’re not just talking about their teenage years, although those often are the most challenging. I’m also talking about our ability—or inability—to have meaningful conversations with our adult stepdaughters.
There are times when, no matter how much you try, it feels as if you and she are speaking two different languages. Try these scenarios on for size. Do any of them sound familiar?
⊲ You give your stepdaughter a compliment. She turns it around, as if you’re criticizing her.
⊲ You ask her to clean up her room. It’s as if you asked her to give up her phone for a month.
⊲ You make a few suggestions about what she might wear. She responds by yelling that you haven’t got a clue.
⊲ You try to start a conversation with your stepdaughter. The more you try to get close to her, the more you drift apart.
⊲ You attempt to connect with her by asking how school went. She responds by rolling her eyes—those dreaded rolling eyes!
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I met my step daughter when she was 6years old. She only visits on December time at her father’s home. I feel distant from her and I try to create conversations with her. I don’t know if I am making any sense or we there she is interested or not. My fear is that I am going to never want to meet up with her because I don’t want her to look at me and feel like I deprived her the right to a proper family.
Things with my step daughter became better when I started looking at her like a younger sister instead of a step child.
She has been in my life for 10 years and living with me full time for 2.5 years.