The Stepmom Mindset: If You Want Peace of Mind, Shift Your Perspective by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
The way you look at your life makes all the difference.
In my work as a therapist, I spend a lot of time helping people understand how their interpretation of events impacts their reaction to what is happening in their lives.
For example, if Josie views Grandma’s death as a blessed release from the deterioration of Alzheimer’s, she will cope quite well.
If she focuses on future Christmases without Grandma’s signature lebkuchen, things will seem much darker. Similarly, when Maisie views her one-hour workout at the gym as Me Time away from her toddlers, she experiences exercise differently than when she thinks about the torturous lunges her trainer expects from her.
Never is perspective more significant, in therapy, than when I work with stepmoms.
Because I have been a stepmom for almost as long as I have been a therapist, I can often relate very well to situations that befall my client stepmoms. Usually their challenges reflect ones I remember from when I was younger and less experienced in my family role. I try not to use too many personal examples, when I counsel clients, because people benefit more from finding their own unique solutions. This is true even if the problem is a common one.
Every now and then, however, I have an “A-ha!” moment myself. One that reminds me that I’m not just preachin’—this stuff really works! This is one such story. …To read the rest of this article, log in to your account and download the February 2017 issue. Don’t have an account? Click here to subscribe.