Stepmoms and Outsider Syndrome: 7 Ways to Ease the Pain of Feeling Left Out by Claudette Chenevert
Your partner is sitting on the floor, playing with his kids. It’s been a few weeks since they were last together and they seem to be having a good time catching up. Here you are, looking at them, when an empty feeling creeps up inside you.
You try as hard as you can, hoping you’re making all the right moves. You sacrifice your time and space to make sure your partner’s kids feel at home, as if they belong. All the while, you are battling your own demons about what your place is in this relationship.
There are times when this phenomenon is very subtle, so much so that it might make you wonder if it’s all in your head. It is similar to feeling as though no one is on your team or that you are all alone. You’re not even sure you can talk with your spouse about this. Will he understand what you are going through?
How do you explain to him that you love him very much but that, when his kids are here, all of a sudden you feel as though you are no longer part of the family? That you feel left out?
Understanding what being an outsider looks like and putting words to those feelings is a good step forward.
So is acknowledging that outsider syndrome is very real. We will explore this here, as well as seven ways you can ease the pain associated with feeling left out.