Stepmoms and Ex-Wives: 5 Relationship Paradigms: Which Do You Choose? by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
Few relationships a stepmom navigates are as tricky as the one she has with her partner’s ex. There are many obvious reasons for this complexity. (Perhaps, most notably, you’ve both seen the same man naked.) You may wonder what constitutes normal when it comes to your relationship with your stepchildren’s mother, as this particular pairing usually feels anything but.
Normal (my least favorite word) is impossible to define. There are simply too many variables, in these complicated family situations, though I have noticed that a few consistent patterns emerge in stepmom/ex relationships and it can be helpful to assess yours with these paradigms in mind.
Are you Besties? Arch Enemies? Engaged in a game of Follow the Leader? Rigidly stuck in the roles of Ice Queens? Or something closer to Social Secretaries? Read on and find out! …To read the rest of this article log in to your account and download the May 2016 issue or Get the guide!
I have 2 bio mom’s to deal with h&c . H and I have been friendly for over 10yrs. I was in high school with her sister. In the beginning she was the hardest for me to deal with. My husband left her for me ,we were both pregnant at the time. I ended up kicking him out . She told him she would only take him back if he signed off on my twins. So he left her ,husband and I ended up working things out. H and I took about 1yr after all that to get along. We actually did couples counseling together. We hang out quite a bit . Last fight husband and I got in she took me out for sushi.
C was a party hook up that turned my step daughter. She mom is alful parent. But over times she’s gotten better. We have a mutual understanding that we are all sd family. That we make all our choices with the understanding that she cares about everyone. So couple times yr I take her out of school for a special alone day with her mom. Over time I day on our best days we are friends on our worst is fake it till you make it.