The Truth About Being a Stepmom: Replace Those Old Stepmom Myths With New Mantras by Brenda Snyder, LCSW
Almost everything you hear early on in stepmother life serves no purpose except to make you feel bad about yourself. People are full of advice about how you should feel, how you can make yourself into a better or more supportive parent and how you shouldn’t expect anything from the kids—especially at first. (At first? You’ve been with this family for five years!)
Even well-meaning friends give laughable advice—fit for a traditional family, perhaps, but certainly not for a stepmom. Most people simply miss the point. Women in love with men who have children are a special breed. Without exception, you exude the confidence that your relationship has the strength to withstand challenges you barely acknowledge and about which others know nothing.
You, who battle the stepfamily myths every day? You are awesome!
Stepmoms receive little support—even from well-meaning friends and family. Rather than adopt the negative or unrealistic views of others, develop your own refutation and stand ready to defend yourself (especially in your own mind). You need not allow the ignorance and bias of others infiltrate your positive well-being. You know that you joined your stepfamily with hope and love. You know that you believed your relationship was worth the challenge. You existed before your stepfamily came along and your personal value remains intact. While educating others and dispelling myths can be important, focus first on finding your mantra and affirming yourself. …To read the rest of this article, log in to your account and download the December 2015 issue. Don’t have an account? Click here to subscribe.